Nice but a whirlwind affair. How many times am I going to go through the same feeling now?
The reasons may differ but the end seems to be the same each time. Either I return numb wondering if at all I had achieved anything over the trip (be it personal or professional) or with a feeling that why couldn't it last longer. Just that wee bit extra to make it that bit more enjoyable. Greedy? Some may say that the reason that it was delightful was perhaps the fact that it lasted for such a short time. A burst of joy and happiness. Even I say that each place and each person in one's life has a certain time dimension associated. Nothing more nothing less should be spent there or with that person. Arguably some may wish to keep certain relationship out of such kind of a theoretical ideation. But then come to think of it. How much time can you spend at same place or how many hours would you willingly spend with one person in one day? Unless there is that element of uncertainity that how long will that long last you always prefer taking it in bites? You take people for granted. You give more importance to yourself in other's life and less to theirs in ours (as my friend says). So isn't it ironic that while we may long for longer associations we actually remember most of those which have been short but more enjoyable?
So what is that creeps in us which leads to such kind of a dillema? Or is it just me? I wonder .. I wonder coz I see the same expression on so many faces that surround me. As if asking questions about themselves. Their needs expressed in an enigmatic fashion. Trapped in their own illusions they seem to be searching for that elusive mirage that they have built for themselves. They are thirsting and searching for the oasis without knowing that the solace may be in that moment where someone by them has left footprints in the sand. The footprints that may be showing them the direction that they have always wanted to take and yet have not been able to take. So much for the fortitude that they may display in their own capabilities they will not be able to understand eachother's turmoils. The chaos that has a madness but a method to it. The method that is common across. The method that can bind us and the method that can define us.
And yet that self discovery is alien to so many and that method is known to so few. I won't call it enlightenment. But a love for the moment. The moments that make an era. The moments when we may have touched our ownself in quarters unchartered. In quarters where we feared to tread. Quarters where we need no illusions to be with ourselves within our own solitude. Even if it is in someone else's arms...
It may read out as a very convoluted post to many. It is not in defense for it. But those who feel it may find the method in the madness. After all being crazy has its own fun.
4 comments:
umm,
evokes a stream of thoughts. certainly the longevity factor brings in gleefully that predictable corners of the human you have fallen in love with or those imperfectly shaped slots which you would not have expected the human to co-exist with.
Short bursts of joy n happiness are fine, but you seemed to have forgotten the fact that people do evolve every moment, they imbibe in many new things, are like those vegetables/or pieces of meat that acquire newer flavours of life...in such case, dnot you see a newer facet in the familiar face you kissed fervently?
n what about the fundamenal truth -humans are creatures of habit.when the environment where the humans struggle n compete with others demand a lot from you, at the end of the day, you feel like crawling back to the cocoon....then?
I tend to agree with the dimension a moment takes according to you...but still, a moment goes under the influence of many variables...also depends on the trail the previous moments left for itself...or the unfinished journey they embarked upon. so how do you define a moment? based on what went past or what's tucked in or what's being shaped by those clumsy, hesitating yet adorables fingers...
overall, loved reading it, loved the beginning, lost self in the middle, but found self again at the end
:)
Dude,
What to do.. these have to read ur blogs to find out what is up with u.
Is some part of that write up based on me, or is it really universal as u have put it :)..
Rajesh
PS: i mean the mirage.. illusion part and strictly not the rest of it :)
@Jyo ..
How many people actually realise they are growing? Infact they become habituated about themselves as well as about others. That predictability and that habit is what I don't wish to identify with? The habit forces us to expect other to be the way we want him/her to be. With habit comes expectation and with expectation come the pitfalls for any relationship.
I agree there may be a trail behind But the end always lies ahead.. Isn't it?
@Rajesh
Don't blame me for not being able to show my face in house too often. Its all Reliance :)
The write up was not based on you. However the fact that you identified with it means what I wrote does have a meaningful meaning lol
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