I am in flight to Jaipur and as a part of my usual habit can't help but observe people. People around me wondering / wandering / sitting / sleeping or doing nothing just like me perhaps. Oh but I am writing. Is it? Or am I just expressing. Anyways this is not about me. Its about the people around me and somethings that catch my eye or ear.
Airport lounge. A kid just running around. With a twinkle in his eyes. Mischievious one or a shy one? I wink at him and he smiles. I suddenly try to remind me. When was the last time I smiled like that. To an unknown person. Without inhibition. Without a thought. Well my memory is still jogging to recall that moment. I'm sure it will be a marathon. And suddenly his mother calls. Putting an end to whatever more communication could transpire between him and me.
Carrier Bus. Two ladies. Indian. Dresses - western. Short T-shirt and Jeans. Pretty comfortable one should think. But no that's not the answer. If you observe you would realise how uncomfortable it is perhaps for them. They keep tugging at the T-Shirts to hide any square inch of skin that may get revealed.
And I'm set about wondering about two things:
One : If at all something is not what you want to wear or are conscious of wearing, why would you wear it? I agree its fashion perhaps. Lower the rise of the jeans, higher the acceptability quotient in your peer group perhaps. But then are you being just to yourself? If I understand a wee bit about clothes (I could be wrong, absolutely wrong coz my fashion sense starts and ends with my comfort), then low rise is supposed to enhance your sensuality. Let it do what it is supposed to do. Make your torso look longer or whatever. At the end of the day if you think its adding to your appeal. Let it do. And if it makes you uncomfortable then just don't wear it.
Caveat: Its not a comment on the dresses of those young ladies. They did look beautiful in those. But just a little vulnerable as well.
Two : Time and again we come back to the species called Man and its much maligned image. But then I'm sure we deserve a lot of it. I wonder why, specially in India, men have to be at their worst. The discomfort of the two ladies, as much as it arose in their own conscious self, it also arises in the way Indian men "respect" women. "Respect" did I say? I understand you must be thinking I'm joking. But then I fail to understand why our eyes in this nation have to rove so much in the wrong directions. Why can't we just mind our own business. Why do we have to compartmentalise dresses as respectable and inviting (i'm referring to Sari vs the western outfits). Despite the fact that Sari shows more square inch of a woman's body its the jeans and T-Shirt outfit that we have to make the ladies feel uncomfortable wearing around. Its shameful that we have been able to put those petite ladies in a situation where they have to watch out every two minutes that their skin doesn't show. How pathetic can we get? Or can we get any worse. Oh yes, men can shame a many. They can actually go ahead and attribute rapes and molestation and eve teasing to such kind of dresses. Well on that .. I don't even wish to comment. Makes me feel sick to be a man.
5 comments:
Airports are a great place to reflect on the human condition, indeed.
As someone raised in the West, I have always wondered why someone would choose jeans over a beautiful sari.
Yups. Perhaps any place that makes you feel lonely in a crowd can make you reflect.
To say trivially, its just a case of grass being greener on the other side. Other view is all about comfort. With Indian women getting more into a western lifestyle western clothes suit the working environment. On a deeper note in India it has perhaps become a symbol of pseudo-feminism as I call it. Blind copy of west without embracing its brighter side of spirit. Globalization? I frankly don't know. But something somewhere just ain't right.
We have had arguments plenty about 'men'! But if I have to look at this objectively, there would be various factors that contribute in making the Indian male the MCP that he is...
Conditioning - Growing up with the feeling that they can get away with anything...seeing there fathers treat their mothers in a certain way...clear demarcation in the society about what qualifies as 'good' and 'bad'...depiction of stereotypes in popular movies, books, songs...
Lack of opportunity - Lets face it...how many men actually have a viable source to let out their sexual energy? And the increasing amount of such culture shown in movies and certain segments of society only increases the frustration...
Lack of empathy - thats a general Indian phenomenon...blame others...I am never wrong attitude...etc...
Insecurity - power will always have an attraction...insecurities of all kinds manifest themselves in eve teasing and all...physical dominance becomes a pseudo replacement of general superiority...
Boys will be boys - need I explain this? :)
Yes we have had arguments and I know they will continue. But I must confess that your objectivity seems to be harbouring on criticism. Maybe my perception. Coming to your points.
Conditioning : I agree with what you say but the same goes for women as well. As a parallel context women are conditioned to be a compliment to men in the pathetic way that they are. Seeing the mothers react to the way their husbands treat them? And to worsen it you have the saas bahu sagas with all the negative images one can cultivate for women as being the opressed. As Gandhi said, a silent victim is a big a criminal as the criminal himself. Big words to say than to follow perhaps. But for want of better analogy I used it.
Lack of opportunity: Lets face it the same goes for women also if not more than men. But the conditioning comes to their rescue because they are perhaps more apt in controlling the desires or being more tolerant. Hence we can't judge. Its perfectly normal to have desires but the outlets to fulfill them can make or mar people if they don't have the control or an understanding of them.
Lack of empathy: Come on. As I would say women are the biggest enemy of themselves when it comes to this. The worst form of empathy if at all it can be called so harbours to pity and an effort to let go. Or blame the woman herself. Can you beat that in India? more so by women themselves ?
Insecurity : Well that is why most of the highly eligible bachelors are the ones who have a discerning sense of power and can give security rather than seek it. On this point I totally agree.
I know you might again call me an MCP but I know I'm not :) After all its all perhaps pseudo-feminism vs actual women liberation.
Women will be women. Sigh. But then I love them for that only. So no complains. I hope they remain what they are but also change to what they can be. Much stronger.
Well, what I wrote was in no way a criticism of men...quite the contrary actually...and neither was it a defence of women...I know that women have their own issues and own shortcomings...
But I was strictly speaking in the sexual harassment domain...its a social malady and we are all responsible...men and women...but you can not deny the fact that even those women who actually are liberated think twice before stepping out of their house alone at night...for women, if they are not cautious they become victims...
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