Wandering expressions of a bright shadow ...

काँच टूटने की आवाज़

2011-11-07T20:17:00.000+05:30

आज कल काँच जब टूटता है,
तो आवाज़ नहीं होती |
इतनी भीड़ है मेरे चारों ओर,
कि मुझे अपनी ही आवाज़ ,
सुनाई नहीं देती |

टूटे काँच पर चलो भी,
तो वह चुभता नहीं |
इतने जूते हैं मेरे पास कि,
कितने तिनकों को मैंने रौंदा,
उसका हिसाब ही नहीं |

काँच से अगर कट भी जाए ,
तो लहू दिखता नहीं है|
मयखाने के गिलास से देखती ,
मेरी आँखों को,
लहू का रंग ही पता नहीं है |

अभी कल की बात है शायद ,
नंगे पाँव , गीली घास पर दौड़ कर,
काँटों से बेख़ौफ़ मेरी उंगलियाँ ,
कुछ फूल ले आती थी|
और मैं रक्त की बूंदों को चख कर,
उन्हें काँच के गुलदस्तों में सजा देता था|
और काँच अगर चटख भी जाए ,
तो आँखें नम हो आती थी ,
मैं डर जाता था|

फूल आज भी हैं,
प्लास्टिक के , एक बुके में सजे,
सड़क के उस पार, एक दुकान से ,
चंद सौ रुपये में खरीदे |
गुलदस्ते में सजाता भी हूँ|
मगर गुलदस्ता टूटे भी तो ,
कालीन पर आवाज़ नहीं होती|
आज कल काँच टूटने की आवाज़ ,

सुनाई ही नहीं देती |

भूख

2009-12-07T15:41:00.003+05:30

भूख,
तू ज़िन्दगी की लंगोटिया यार,
जो सिर्फ मौत के साथ ख़त्म होती है|
भूख,
तू एक पत्थर की लकीर,
जो घिस घिस कर हाथों में समा जाती है|

भूख,
तू अगर सिर्फ पैसे की होती,
तो चंद टकसालें लूट कर,
शायद मैं शांत हो जाता|

भूख,
तू अगर सिर्फ हवस की होती,
तो कुछ कोठों पर गजरे बाँध,
तेरी खुशबू में खो जाता|

भूख,
तू अगर सिर्फ हमसफ़र की होती,
तो कहीं अग्नि के फेरे ले कर,
सात जन्मों तक तुझे भुला देता|

भूख,
तू अगर सिर्फ ज़िन्दगी की होती,
तो कहीं मौत को लगे लगा,
तुझे यूँ ही हरा देता|

भूख,
क्या अच्छा होता गर तू बिकाऊ होती,
कुछ सिक्कों में तोल,
तुझे बीच चौराहे पर बेच आता|

भूख,
काश कि तू दुआओं से मिटती ,
किसी, दरगाह में सर झुका कर,
या किसी मंदिर के घंटी बजा,
तुझे वहीँ छोड़ आता|

मगर भूख,
तू भी तो साली अय्यार है,
रूप बदल बदल कर दिखती,
यारों की यार है|
कभी धूप में मिट जाती है,
तो कभी छाया में कुलबुलाती है|
कभी सूखी आँखों में जगती है,
तो कभी आँसूओं में बह जाती है|
कितना भी मिटा लूँ मैं मगर,
मिट बिल्कुल नहीं पाती है|

Are we a nation starved on self esteem?

2009-06-22T22:47:00.003+05:30

Its an issue that keeps bothering me every now and then. Be it the euphoria around the success of an "Indian origin" (latest example a candidate for Britain's speaker) person or be it our hypocrisy of dealing with issues of discrimination on the basis of caste / race / religion.

Lets face it, once and for all, any success of an Indian origin person is at best his own success or of his/her respective nation. India's got nothing, absolutely nothing to it. Vikram Pandit left India when he was sixteen and Indira Nooyi may owe as much to Yale (if not more) to her success as much as IIM-C does. So lets study their success with as much objectivity as we can to look within ourselves instead of just laying ourselves down on our bellies to roll a red carpet just for their Indian roots. Its perhaps more than a slap on our face that an Indian sportsperson looks to foreign shores for training while any engineer / MBA looks to Ivy League as ticket to success. Till such time we look within and do something about it, we would perhaps continue to beat our chests for hollow pride in the colour of our skin (read Indian origin).

That brings us to the other issue of current racism crisis in Australia. Haven't the stories suddenly died down? What happened? Indian students urged Indian media to play it down and our media heeded? Why did Indians urge so? Why are they hesitant to come back if there is so much of fear? Simple, its too lucrative to let go. Australian dollar is still earning more than an Indian rupee! Then why crib? Any country goes through cultural transformation when faced with an immigration flux. Nowhere I intend to downplay the issue. But then, lets also look what we do on a day to day basis. Reverse racism as some people call it, is as rampant as one can imagine. Be it the fetish for the fair skin to the hatred for black or fear of a beard. I'm not even getting into the casteism. It smacks of such blatant hypocrisy that it makes me squirm.

Though the two topics above may seem disconnected but I feel they are symptomatic of a common disease (if I may call it so). Its a serious lack of esteem or a complex of hiding behind the wall of jingoism or perhaps just a lid on the darker side of our psyche. Which in turn prompts us to jump at the first instance of success for brown skin or a collective mob behaviour when a specimen is under threat or is undone by a wrong.

Honestly this is what I feel. High time we became more mature in handling things and stand up for ourselves. Introspect. Amend. And progress. Till such time maybe the question will keep lingering.

Do you agree?

Top 5 IPLs

2009-05-26T23:20:00.003+05:30

While in my previous post, I discussed about the other IPL (Indian Parliamentary League). And it struck me that these may not be the only ones, and I came up with my favourite list.

Number 5 : It has to be the original the BCCI Indian Premier League. For one its original. People wait more for zoo zoos than the match. Strategy breaks are wasted on a fully clothed Mandira Bedi. Members of this league just do what they are expected to do. Give hugs, run like headless chicken (remember appam C when he got Dhoni out?) or just call 50 grand USD as motivation and loose the next one. Can you get more boring/interesting (the glass is half full or empty)?

Number 4 : Indian perverse league. This is an interesting league. Even the non-Indians know about it. Members of this all pervasive tribe can be found right from the beaches of Varkala in south to the banks of Ganga (dare ask me to use Ganges anyone) in Rishikesh. Any tourist (foreigner or Indian) who has shown a certain square inch of skin more than the permissible limit would have experienced them. Oh btw did I say permissible limit? It varies as per each members standards.

Number 3 : Indian Paisa League. This one is a million dollar league literally and figuratively. To know the members of this league you either need to be able to answer this million dollar question - Who has the black money? or have an account in Swiss bank or be building an 8000 cr house on the Altamount road in Mumbai. You can choose your own path to know them.

Number 2: Indian PITA league. This is a relatively new breed of members. They include the MNS, Sriram Sene, SIMI, shucks, I don't even remember the name of the group in Kashmir who asked woman to stay in houses in burkas.

And the top honour goes to ....

Indian parliamentary league ... You name it and you have it in this. Black money. Sting operation. Technology (the use of it in CD or failure of it on the blogosphere, sorry Advani ji). Flip flops. Third front. Fourth front. Back to front ;). Betting. Slog overs. Surprises (who thought about a big win for Congress?). Numbers (on screen as well as under the table). Its just a fascinating amalgamation of all the ingredients of a pot boiler. Can't get the eyes off. Even the results can change. It has an intriguing league before the thrilling semis and finals (assuming 2 days before counting and two days after). And yes, it doesn't have strategy breaks!!

There were other close competitors, The Indian Punter League, Indian Paradox League, Indian Pessimissm League .. and if there are more, do let me know you can think of !!

Finally IPL is over

2009-05-26T22:55:00.003+05:30

Year 2008, BCCI's IPL was born. Year 2009, BCCI's Indian Premier League was held in South Africa. Was this the only difference? I doubt. All through the 2009 session, I wondered what was it that I could just not keep the same interest going like last year? Was it just me or something more to it? A news report in ET at least told me that it wasn't just me. The TVR rating (a mix of viewership and time spent on watching a program) had actually gone down. Though more people watched it, the time spent on it has gone down. So what does it tell us? Too much of cricket? Absence of Indian crowd? Strategy break? This could be as big a dark horse in this story as much was the Rahul factor in Indian Parliamentary league! As usual, more questions than answers. For me the criteria seem to be three -

One : Viewer fatigue. Its no more a novel idea. Too much of anything is bad even if its just 20-20
Two : Absence of "Indian" stars living upto their stardom. While some did perform, but none of them seemed to have captured the imagination.
Three : Strategy break. Definitely I feel. It gave the chance to viewer to move away from the screen and have better things to do.

Thus while the skirts got shorter for the cheer leaders it didn't highten the interest for sure. And guess what, I feel relieved that the league is over. I am sure lot many share the same feeling. Not to forget that I fear how it will affect our world cup chances and what so much of cricket will do to my interest in it.

P.S : Can someone please get rid of this bollywood shadow on the teams, any team with remotest of filmy connection lost (Rajasthan royal, Sharukh Khan, Preity Zinta and Katrina Kaif)

Gulaal - Review

2009-04-16T20:53:00.004+05:30

The first time I had heard about Anurag Kashyap was when Black Friday had run into controversy and later I watched the print which made way to the Black market itself. It was a brilliantly made movie and so was the soundtrack. Then came Paanch and yet again the movie was not released. However it also had a good soundtrack. So it was a build up, towards something special expected from a filmmaker (who had a very crafty brain above the passionate heart for his art) when No smoking finally hit the screen. But what that movie did was to transform his image from brilliance to unexpected. No Smoking can be a separate debate altogether with extreme reactions ranging from cinematic assault to outright stylish. But this piece is about Gulaal.

First frame to last frame, stamped (with authority) is Anurag Kashyap. Be it the props like “Democracy Beer” (which just add that extra touch to a pleasurable movie experience) to the helmet that the protagonist wears in the end. The detailing has to be called the hallmark of Anurag Kashyap’s style of movie making (if I may call it so, within the domain of Bollywood – we know there are many in Hollywood to do that).

Next point that becomes very evidently apparent is the ease that the actors feel in his film. It just seems to effortless on their part that you do wonder how the director gets them into that zone (I’d keep Ayesha Mohan outside this domain for the time being coz honestly she was the weakest link in acting I suppose). When a movie is speckled with immaculate performances its tough to choose the winners. But in this assortment, Abhimanyu Singh and Deepak Dobriyal stand out without doubt.

Technically the movie is again very in your face kind with all the colours and hues being saturated to the maximum perhaps. The cinematography is wonderful and brings out the best of the backdrop. However, the editing could have been better perhaps, particularly in the second half. In the hindsight, the script could have also been a little tighter perhaps and the concept per se be hinged on a different premise than the struggle for “Rajputana”. At times the script seems to be dictated by the need of characterization rather than the other way round. This could perhaps be an individual choice, what comes first, the character or the script?

That brings us to the best part of the movie, the songs and the lyrics. For an audience that is used to music as breaks from scenes, this movie actually has a soundtrack with songs that are the omnipresent character. As already discussed in my previous post, Piyush Mishra has done a phenomenal job with the music. Can’t forget to mention Rahul Ram and Indian Ocean. They just keep adding feather in their caps.

Hope to just see more radically different stuff from Anurag Kashyap. Keep it coming.

Another Ton from Tondulkar

2009-03-20T04:39:00.004+05:30

There are hardly a few things in this world that would prompt a lazy bum like me to sacrifice a peaceful sleep and get up at 3:30 in the morning. The reward must surely be something special. But then there are hardly a few visual treats which compare to the one presented by Tendulkar when he is playing at his sublime best. He's done it yet again. The God of cricket has done it. And the man can't be done enough justice by any amount of words. So just congratulations to him.

P.S : Those who have missed it, just check the shot he played of Ryder (the first ball he bowled today morning). Phew ... does it get better?

"Srishti Se Pehle" - Bharat Ek Khoj

2009-03-07T19:35:00.001+05:30

Gulaal

2009-03-07T18:28:00.004+05:30

I wanted to start this post as a music review of Gulaal but then I realised much of it has already been done at Rediff and here. So I would just touch upon a few things that I feel that the reviews missed and then move on to what this music set about doing in my mind or made me observe a few.

Review : It goes without saying that the album is pathbreaking and phenomenal. While it takes us back to simplicity of music it pushes us into deep thoughtful world through its soulful lyrics. Piyush Mishra has woven a creative masterpiece. While his music and lyrics have done just more than justice to the (anticipated) canvas of the movie (read theme of revolution) its his voice as well which adds to the power of this album. The deep baritone which threatens to crack at a few places gives that raw impetus which makes you feel it within. Seemingly influenced by a street theatre style its a mind numbing rendering by him in his songs. Add to it the thrust of Rahul Ram in a few pieces, what we have is not just musical and lyrical gem but a vocally stand out performance as well. The other singers (Rekha Bharadwaj and Shilpa Rao) also add to the mood. Thus what we have is a complete breadth of an experience that will be registered for a long long time to come.

Coming to the non-review part of the post, the music actually reminded me of a lot of things :-
Poetry in Bollywood : Its been some time that we heard poetry in our songs and not just lyrics. One of the reasons why 50s-60s were called the golden age of Indian film music was the soul they had thanks to some wonderfully penned words. Since the age of Sahir and his ilk its hardly been anyone who has even dared to tread the territory that was their playground. Agreed Gulzar and Javed Akhtar have made a mark for themselves and have their own distinctive style. Apart from them (not withstanding Prasoon Joshi off late) there has hardly been a poetic talent on the scene. And even their talent has also been interspersed whenever they have been given the freedom of a writer by their respective directors. Still there has always been this vaccum that still exists and whenever it is filled (as shown by Gulaal) it does bring in a fresh breeze.

Doordarshan : The music of Gulaal reminds me of the good old serials of Doordarshan which had serials who stood out even for their opening soundtracks. Be it the "Srishti Se Pehle" of Bharat Ek Khoj (listen to the chorus in "Sheher" of Gulaal), "Moonh Ke Baat" of Neem Ka Ped, OST of Vividha by A R Rahman or even Potli baba ke with chhunu vaale baba or chaddi pehen ke phool khila of Jungle Book. That was words, music and more .. Emotions

Hindi : Incidentally, while reading the other two musics reviews what struck me was use of a couple of phrases by them. "Hardcore Hindi" and "shuddh Hindi". It was as if how rare it is to actually read or hear our own mother tongue!! Its perplexing for me further because the Hindi used in the songs is not that difficult after all. Despite the fact that my education was in an English medium school we had a healthy diet of our OWN Hindi literature which was no less than any other. The fact that our mother tongue is beginning to fall in a niche rather than being a commonly understood by one and all gives me jitters. And its for all of us to think where are we taking it?

Brands : To put the point above in a different context, lets for a second assume that "Pure Hindi" is a brand. Suddenly Gulaal becomes its advertisement. Which reminds me of Thums Up and Limca. No matter how hard Coke might have tried it has not been able to kill the brands it bought from Parle (apart from Gold Spot off course). So to think of it as analogy, pure Hindi is such a powerful brand that it will never die. No matter how much of a multinational onslaught or popularisation of English may happen. Hindi will remain as beautiful as ever. And there in lies the hope .. while we may wonder where are we headed, the likes of Piyush Mishra will keep reminding us of our national treasure and so shall it be popular.

That's all for now ...

P.S : I just hope in the coming elections the communists don't hijack gulaal as their songs. But more on that later :) ..

Back ..

2009-03-07T18:25:00.002+05:30

Its been a year since I came to write back on my blog. The year seems to have gone past in a blur. What kept me away or what has brought me back is immaterial. What matters is that I'm back and I feel like writing again!

Wishing myself a longer innings this time :)

"Tolerance" did we say?

2008-03-07T20:42:00.002+05:30

It has been an oft quoted remark that India is a nation of tolerant people or a part of the Indian spiritual existence can be attributed to its tolerance. Events over the past few weeks can rip apart this facade to shreds. In fact strong evidence is emerging that we have enough of loose barrels in the society who are willing (for one reason or other) to ridicule the constitutional set of this "virbrant" democracy.

Evidence One : MNS activism against the North Indians in Maharashtra is a prime example of how you can hold law to ransom in our beloved country. And not only that, but how easily you can get away with it as well. The so called guardians of Marathi culture in the "cosmopolitan" city of Mumbai think that all the black in the city is courtesy UP and Bihar while all the white is rests with Marathis. Each time this non-sense would blow its trumpet , I would look around and see a UP/Bihar migrant doing something that this proud “Marathi Manoos” would not be willing to do. Be it driving a taxi, polishing your shoe, a security guard or just a sweeper perhaps. I wonder if all these faceless people were to halt the work for just one day, how would this city survive. They are like, bearings in this well oiled machinery called Mumbai.

We can take this into a cultural debate also. A person from Bihar and UP does not take his education to head. If he has nothing to loose he would not mind going down a step or two which may not be in accordance with his education but surely worth his sweat. On the other hand if you try to find the same in a Marathi person I wonder if you wouldn't come back empty handed. They love the governmental jobs which run from 10 to 5 with elaborate breaks. Before someone brands me in the same league as Mr Raj Thackerey, please visit any of the government offices in Maharashtra, find the number of North Indians there and the state of that office. But to generalise would be my fallacy as well and would render me as divisive as these idiots are.

The reverberations of the same are being felt in other states and one man's evil is becoming the tool of other power hungry morons in this nation. Thanks Mr Thackery Jr (and Sr) as well for having reminded this nation of the regionalism's "benefits".

Evidence Two: Mob (un) justice is another phenomenon which is reflecting upon the state of society we are living in. Repeated instances of petty criminals being handed over justice by mobs, in presence of the police, are setting a dangerous precedence. It could only mean that either the rule of law has become a myth or that the people have lost faith in judiciary. And people intending to settle scores could soon be using this mob fury to their advantage as well. Is it an outcome of frustrations building up in the people or are these signals of moral degradation is a sociological answer that we must seek to introspect. The apathy shown on a mass level is further indication that what might appear to be a one off case is a deeper malaise running across the society. The sooner we look within the sooner we may realise how rotten we've got if at all we intend to do something about it.

Evidence Three: While the first two reflect on our growing political and social intolerance, the third one, protests against "Jodha Akbar" perhaps indicate towards the cultural intolerance. The blatantly foolish and absurd protests often turning violent have become so common that perhaps they are fast becoming on and off in public memory. Obviously it is not so much a mass movement than a fringe stupid group trying to establish an identity. But then the repercussions are ominous. It may as well be taken note of the fact that anyone / any group can hold creative thought to ransom and inhibit freedom of expression. At least that's what the trends suggest.

In wake of all of the above, the logical mind would obviously be bent towards thinking that we are going down hill. Its not even a debate between right and left or the liberal vs conservative. It seems to be purely between a progressive mind vs a retrogressive one which is resisting change or is being threatened from an identity crisis. And the fear of this threat is manifesting itself in its ugliest form.

Picture of the year

2008-01-06T01:13:00.000+05:30

Well I'm not well versed with tagging but this one is for Madhuri. I am supposed to post the best picture that I took in 2007 and the reason why it was my best. Well had to give a lot of thought to it. There were quite a few options from my various trips particularly Manali where we felt so close to heaven. But then there it was expected to have that feeling of exultation. There was the option of Matheran which will remain in my memory for forever perhaps. But those are private moments to be kept to myself. So finally the one that I've arrived at is one I took at Marine Drive.

The reasons why its special? One for its spontaniety that I captured it with. A spur. And then the way it gave, to me, reflection on life. With all its colours. The sun as the symbol of hope. The darkness in life. The crowd. The traffic. The need to negotiate. Signals pointing in all directions and yet no indication of red, yellow or green ironically. And yet the beauty of it. The beauty of life. So I'd rate this not so special and yet special snap as the best I clicked in 2007. Hope more to come in 2008.

P.S : Can't think of passing it on Maddy .... Sorry ;)

There you go again ...

2008-01-06T00:55:00.000+05:30

This one is perhaps radically different from other thoughts of mine. Its about how one feels when someone close leaves. Temporarily. To come back. What all goes in the mind? Specially if the person is really close.
While one is sad, one is already jumping to the date in future when the person will be back. Also, the fact that suddenly you start thinking of too many things to do, to keem the mind occupied and yet you also don't feel like doing anything. Its a pause and also a flux. Where one introspects, smiles and thinks. Where one experiences a pain in anticipation of joy ahead. On the edge waiting.
That's what makes relationships beautiful perhaps. That is what makes us realise the sublimity of emotions that make life so interesting.

Yeh Mera India ...

2008-01-06T00:01:00.000+05:30

Well a new year should bring in a new beginning? So how does it in our beloved nation? Lets take glimpses on the TV. A splash of news about molestation of women across the country. The whole debate of which city is safe and which is not! A moment of glory for a few "socialite" intellectuals on T.V and a few bewildered looking common people suddenly thrust with microphones in face under the glare of flash lamps?
But eh wait. Someone got another idea ! The ones who did it were not Marathis.. These bloody migrants. They are spoiling "our" Mumbai. Mee Maratha. Aamchi Mumbai. But then "Dood" Mumbai is still much better than uncivilised Delhi. We have better power. Better night life. More safe for women still.
In the meanwhile on another channel : "Police must do something about it". Bored ? Switch the channel. "Police can't give one constable behind every couple". Switch channel. "What an irresponsible statement on part of police". Switch channel. "Government must give an answer on this". Switch channel. "Horse on a Rampage". Switch channel. "Sangam hoga ki nahi? Yuvraaj ya Dhoni? Kise milegi Deepika?". Switch channel. "How can the French president bring his girlfriend? This is not acceptable as per our cultural norms!"

Can you still recollect what it all began with? Yes, about the security of women. I wonder if there was any talk of the mindset of "men" particularly in India? Anyways, while one is still reeling under this garbage, a ray of hope still : A small piece on struggle of farmers near Nasik to save the land from SEZ/coercion of government employees on NDTV India. Good work for a change.

And that is how we usher in the new year in India. Amidst all the darkness someone still holding a small lamp somewhere .. That's the vibrant democracy breathing hope while its guts are infected with all the diseases one can think of ... Salaam Indiya ...

Himachal - In Pictures...

2008-01-05T22:34:00.001+05:30

Wonder in Pines And all the roads are winding

Hmmm .. Footprints in time?

Bridge to heaven? Good bye blue sky ..

Road to white is dirty ... The Elements...

Shadows under shining skies Someone peeping from the sky?

A new year begins

2008-01-02T21:10:00.000+05:30

A new year has dawned and already 48 hrs gone by. Have already suffered the Wednesday morning blues... and yet I can't help looking back and smile. The year that went by brought some of the best moments of my life that I'll cherish forever. Be it meeting someone special or some special trips or some moments just with myself. I've grown as a person perhaps. Degrown as a child unfortunately but the battle to save it is still on. I lost myself. Rediscovered. Went on the verge of some blunders and pulled back. Bumped, hurt, fell and got up. But I'm still on course. Yes seems like another lap of formula 1 got over.

I look forward to a richer life, both in terms of money as well as experience. So lets see. As of now I just seem to be enjoying what 2007 gave me. Still not assessed what 2008 could offer. Still wondering.

P.S : If I read back this post it seems so egocentric or written just for the heck of it. Maybe I've not yet had enough of myself. A better post ahead I hope. Exactly the sentiment of every new year ... I HOPE ...

हिमाचल भाग ३

2007-11-22T15:33:00.000+05:30

तीसरा दिन: यह दिन बहुत महत्वपूर्ण था क्योंकि आज हम रोहतांग के रस्ते कीलोंग जाने वाले थे| हमारी यात्रा प्रारंभ हुई दस बजे के आस पास| पहला पड़ाव था कोठी गांव| इंटरनेट पर यहाँ की तस्वीरों ने हमारा दिल मोह लिया था| पर शायद हम गलत समय पर पहुंचे थे| हालांकि जगह ने हमें निराश नहीं किया और हमने चाय नाश्ते का अच्छा आनंद उठाया, लेकिन वो जगह शायद सिर्फ आने वाले कुछ पलों की एक झांकी भर ही थी| बौर्डर रोड्स के द्वारा दुर्गम स्थलों पर भी बनाई सड़कों पर हम अपनी मंजिल की और बढ़ चले| अगला पड़ाव था मधी| मंत्रमुग्ध कर देने वाली जगह है यह| तेज़ हवा मानो आपको अपने साथ चलने के लिए बुला रही हो| चारों और बर्फ का ताज पहने पहाड़ और नीचे कन्दराओं में दिखती सड़कें जिन पर सफर कर के आप वहाँ पहुँचते हैं|

अगली मंजिल थी रोहतांग| किताबों में पढ़ा , तस्वीरों में देखा और किंवदंतियों में सुना| हम वहीं खड़े थे| एक ऎसी सराबोर कर देने वाली अनुभूति जिसे समाहित करने में वक़्त लगता है परन्तु एक बार महसूस होने के बाद आप जिसे भुला नहीं सकते| १३५०० फुट की ऊंचाई पर जहाँ शायद सांस लेने में भी कठिनाई होती हो| हम ऐसी ही जगहपर खड़े थे| ऊपर से बर्फ मानो हमको निमंत्रण दे रही थी एक अलग ही अंदाज़ के खेल का, जहाँ सिर्फ जीत थी और किसी की हार नहीं| बिना कोई समय खोये हमने कुछ घोड़े कर लिए| मगर मैं और मेरी एक मित्र ने उस एहसास को अपने क़दमों से छूने का निर्णय भी किया था| तो ५ घोड़े जिनमे से दो पर कोई सवार नहीं थे चल पड़े बर्फ की ओर| और सच मानिए वह यात्रा अविस्मरणीय है| बर्फ तक पहुँचते पहुँचते भी आप इतने विस्मित हो चुके होते हैं कि शायद सिर्फ खुदा को इतनी हसीन धरती के लिए शुक्रिया कहने के अलावा आपके पास कोई शब्द नहीं बचते| एक बार बर्फ पर पहुँचने के बाद आप बस ऊपर जाने के तमन्ना रखते हैं| और ऊपर| और ऊपर| जब तक आपकी या तो साँस न फूल जाये या वक़्त की सीमायें आपको न बाँध दें (क्योंकि कीलोंग तक भी समय रहते पहुंचना है)| बस इन ही अनुभूतियों के साथ हम वहाँ बर्फ के साथ अठखेलियाँ करते रहे| और महसूस करते रहे शायद विश्व की ऊंचाई को| इस से ज्यादा मेरे पास शायद शब्द नहीं हैं और तस्वीरें ज़्यादा बयान कर सकती हैं| तदोपरान्त, थके मगर एक सुखद, अनंत एहसास के साथ हम चल पड़े अगले पड़ाव की ओर|

रोहतांग से कीलोंग का रास्ता बेहद खूबसूरत है| तब और भी जब आप जानते हों कि सड़क पर आपकी गाड़ी अकेली नहीं लेकिन गिनती की गाड़ियों मैं से तो एक ज़रूर है (रोहतांग पास नवम्बर मैं बंद हो जाता है)| चंद्रा नदी के किनारे कभी ऊपर चढ़ते तो कभी नीचे उतरते, साँस रोक देने वाली घाटियों के बीच जब सूरज का आखरी सलाम पहाड़ों की चोटी पर छटा बिखेरता है तो आप वाह के अलावा शायद कुछ कहने की स्थिति में नहीं रह जाते हैं| आपस में बात करने हेतु शब्दों को कम पा कर आप बस शांत चले जाते हैं नदी के शोर में कुछ सुनने की कोशिश करते हुए|

अंततः हम पहुंचे चंद्रभागा होटल, जहाँ हमारे लिए ही नहीं परन्तु वहाँ मौजूद सज्जन के लिए भी यह आश्चर्य का विषय था कि हमने बुकिंग कैसे की| उनके कार्यकाल में यह पहला मौका था और हमारे लिए और भी विस्मयकारी यह तथ्य कि उस होटल में सिर्फ हम ही थे ! बेहद मददगार यह सज्जन फिर हमारे लिए बहुत ही स्वादिष्ट भोजन की व्यवस्था करी और हमारे रहने को भी सर्वद्रिष्टि से आरामदायक बनाया| एक अविस्मरणीय रात के बाद सुबह हम कीलोंग भ्रमण के लिए निकले हैं| वहाँ की चट्टानों की कशिश को नज़रंदाज़ करना आपके बस में नहीं, तो आप बस फिर पहाड़ों पर अपने नौसिखिये अंदाज़ मैं चढ़ाई कर देना चाहेंगे| और समेट ले जायेंगे कुछ यादों का एक पुलिंदा|

फिर शुरू हुई हमारी मनाली की वापसी यात्रा| फिर एक बार रोहतांग पर हाल्ट लेकिन इस बार झील के किनारे जहाँका तापमान इतना कम कि कपड़ों की कई तहों के बीच भी आपकी कंपकंपी छूट जाये| अभूतपूर्व नज़ारे जहाँ से आपका हिलने का मन न करे| कुछ देर में निकलने के बाद आप फिर मढ़ी में रूक कर खाना खा सकते हैं| अत्यंत स्वादिष्ट भोजन बेहद वाजिब दामों पर| और यहीं एक ऐसा नज़ारा जो मेरे लिए इस यात्रा के सबसे सुखद क्षणों में से एक है| बादलों के बीच से मानो कोइ टोर्च ले कर ऊपर से झाँक रहा हो| गोया कोई इस धरती की खूबसूरती को निहारना चाहता हो|

मनाली तक पहुँचते पहुँचते आपको यह ख्याल सताने लगता है की अगले दिन आपको लौट जाना है| फिर भी रात का वो मंज़र, जिसके आप अभी आदि हो चुके हैं, जहाँ आसमान में तारे इतने साफ दिखते हैं, आपको छू लेटा है| वही तारे जो शायद शहरों की धुल धुएं में लिपटी हवा की चादर के पीछे कहीं खो जाते हैं| तारे जिन्हें आप तोड़ लेना चाहे शायद| और इस बार आप जॉन्सन बार में खा सकते हैं| वाजिब दामों पर मदिरा और आप के पसंद का संगीत (और भी अच्छा अगर आपके पास खुद का आई-पोड हो तो)| नाचते गाते वापस आ कर आख़िरी रात आग पर एक बार फिर आलू पका कर खाना| कौन वापस आना चाहेगा|

अंतिम दिन : आख़िरी दिन आप बीते कुछ दिनों के पल समेट लेना चाहते हैं| यूं घूम फिर कर| कुछ सोचते| अनमने से| वापस जाने को आतुर नहीं| किसी अदृश्य शक्ति से अनुनय विनय करते की हमें यहीं रख ले| वन विहार की एक सैर जहाँ आखरी कुछ चित्र खींच सके| और फिर अंतिम विदाई दे कर एक अत्यंत सुखद यात्रा को, वापस शहरों की ओर|
ऐसे समाप्त होती है हमारी मनाली यात्रा| और जी हाँ उसी दिन तेंदुलकर फिर ९९ पर आउट हो जाते हैं|

Some Logistic Highlights :
Cost of stay at HPTDC log huts in Manali: Rs 4500 per day (can accomodate 6 people easily)
Cost of cab to Keylong : Rs 3500 (may vary in season)
Cost of stay at HPTDC hotel Chandrabhaga at Keylong: Rs 450
Cost of paragliding at Solang : Rs 1500
Delhi-Manali Volvo bus ticket cost : Rs 800-850
Cost of horses at Rohtang : Approx| Rs 300
Recommended places to eat : Johnson's Cafe/Bar/Restaurant, Khyber and at Madhi while on way to Rohtang
Points to be noted : Most eating places don't accept card in Manali| And the only ATM working around Mall road is SBI| So in case you wish to avoid transaction charges, do keep sufficient cash|

हिमाचल भाग - २

2007-11-22T15:21:00.000+05:30

दूसरा दिन: लम्बी रात के बाद अपनी अपनी सुविधानुसार उठ कर हम लोगों ने सोलंग जाने का निश्चय किया| सोलंग की ओर जाते समय जब हम वादियों का आनंद ले रहे थे अचानक हमारी मित्र को ज्ञात हुआ कि उसकी अंगूठी गायब है| इसी उधेड़्बून्द में हम लोगों को उसे ढूँढने वापस लौटना पड़ा| और इसे किस्मत कहिये या कुछ और पर अंगूठी घास में पड़ी मिल ही गयी| और हम सब वापस चेहरे पर मुस्कराहट लिए वादियों का और भी आनंद लेते हुए फिर सोलंग की ओर चल दिए| पहाड़ों से घिरी इस बेहद खूबसूरत वादी में आप पैरा ग्लाइडिन्ग का मज़ा ले सकते हैं| और एक दुसरे से पूछने की ज़रूरत तो थी नहीं और पल भर में हम लोग पहाड़ पर करने लगे, ऊंचे स्थान से शुरुआत करने को| थोड़ी ही देर में हमे ज्ञात हुआ के पहाड़ कितना ऊंचा है और लोग क्यों वहाँ घोड़े पर जाते हैं| परन्तु हमने दृढ निश्चय कर ही लिया था और चढाई का आनंद भी अलग ही था| तो बस हांफते हुए ही सही लेकिन हम वहँ तक अपने पैरों पर पहुंच ही गए| और सारा पसीना उस नजारे के लिए शायद नाकाफी था| हवा की दिशा परिवर्तित होने से पहले ही हमे ग्लाइडिन्ग प्रारंभ करनी थी और एक बाद एक, बस हम लोग आसमान की गोद में थे| कानों के बगल से सर सर निकलती हवा और आंखों के सामने निशब्द कर देने वाले नजारे| कुछ ही मिनिटों में आप ऐसे आनंद का अनुभव करते हैं जो शायद बतलाया नहीं जा सकता| ग्लाइडिन्ग के बाद आस पास कुछ शांत सडकों पर सैर करने का लुत्फ़ भी उठाते बनता है| पीली पत्तियों से अटी सड़कें और दूर पहाड़ों की चोटियों पर बर्फ, जो गोधूली की बेला में गुलाबी दिखती है, मानो कोई चित्रकार अपनी पेंटिंग से आपका दिल जीतना चाहता हो| इसी नज़ारे का लुत्फ़ उठाते हुए हम लौट पड़े| ज्यादा शब्दों की ज़रूरत नहीं थी और हम सब जानते थे उस सुकून का एहसास जो वहाँ हम छोड़ जा रहे थे| रात को फिर आग के अलाव पर हाथ सेकते हुए इस बार हम में से एक ने सुझाव दिया आलू और प्याज को आग पर "पका" कर खाने का| बस फिर क्या था एक हैन्गर को तोड़ मरोड़ कर सीधा किया गया और उस पर आलू चढा कर आग में सेंकने के लिए रख दिया गया था| और आप माने या न माने बेहद स्वादिष्ट लगता है यह| बस यूं ही खाते पीते हमने दूसरे दिन का अंत किया|

हिमाचल भाग १

2007-11-22T08:38:00.000+05:30

कुछ खास पलों के लिए आप कभी कभी प्रयास करते हैं कुछ खास करने का | इसलिए यह मेरा प्रयत्न है मेरी मनाली यात्रा को हिन्दी में बयान करने का | एक ऐसी यात्रा जो कुछ खास लोगों की वजह से और भी अनमोल हो गयी | वह जानते हैं कि वो कौन हैं |

अमीर खुसरो ने कश्मीर में क्या देख कर उसे धरती का स्वर्ग कहा, यह पूर्णतया तो मुझे नहीं पता, परन्तु पहाड़ों का उस मत में अवश्य ही योगदान रहा होगा | और आप मेरे पहाड़ों के प्रेम की तुलना शमा के लिए परवाने के प्रेम से भी करें तो शायद अतिशयोक्ति नहीं होगी | खैर यह ना तो मेरी प्रेम कहानी का वर्णन है और ना ही किसी बौलीवुड मूवी की पटकथा | यह वृत्तांत है दोस्तों के साथ मेरी हिमाचल की एक हसीन यात्रा का | एक ऐसी यात्रा जिसमें वहाँ के अद्भुत सौंदर्य ने हमें ना सिर्फ मंत्रमुग्ध किया बल्कि निशब्द भी कर दिया |

हमारी यात्रा शुरू हुई दिल्ली में हिमाचल भवन से, जहाँ हिमाचल पथ परिवहन की बस प्रारंभ होती है | हालांकि हमें बताया गया था कि यह यात्रा १४ घंटे की है परन्तु वह १६ घंटे के साबित हुई | मगर कुल मिला कर यात्रा आरामदायक ही थी (अगर आप २.५ घंटे की उस पीड़ा को भुला दें जो एक "ढोल" नामक चलचित्र ने हमें पहुँचाई)| बीच में दो छोटे पड़ाव थे | पहला चंडीगढ़ के पास, जहाँ बस से बाहर कदम रखते ही हमें उस मीठी ठंड का एहसास हुआ जिसके लिए आप मुम्बई में तरस जायेंगे | एक हल्की बयार आपको भीतर तक स्पर्श करती हुई मानो आपको दुलार रही हो, एक सखी की तरह | दूसरा पड़ाव था सुबह सुबह पहाड़ों के नजदीक कुल्लू से थोड़ा पहले, जहाँ ढाबे की गरम चाय और स्वच्छ, साफ, ठंडी हवा का मिश्रण आपको सम्पूर्ण ताजगी का अनुभव देता है | एक तरफ यह अनुभव जहाँ आपको प्रसन्न कर देगा, वहीं आप आतुर भी हो जायेंगे, जल्द से जल्द अपनी मंज़िल तक पहुँचने को | जहाँ आपको आशा है, और भी आनंद की | हमारे लिए यह मंज़िल थी हिमाचल पर्यटन के "लॉग हट्स" | पुराने अनुभवों के आधार पर हमें आशा थी कि राज्य पर्यटन विभाग के होटल इत्यादी अच्छी जगह पर ही बने होंगे | और हमारी आशानुसार ही यह लॉग हट्स बेहद खूबसूरत जगह पर स्थित हैं | जहाँ आप जिस तरफ भी नज़र घुमायेँगे आपको सुन्दरता के विभिन्न आयामों का प्रदर्शन दिखाई देगा | वो चाहे पहाड़ों की चोटी पर सफ़ेद बर्फ की चादर हो या चिनार के लंबे पेड़ | खिले फूलों का नाच या लौग हट की दीवारों पर लिपटी बेलें, जिन पर पीली पत्तियां कोलाज के तरह चिपकी हों |

पहले दिन हमने आराम से प्राकृतिक सौंदर्य को मद्धम मद्धम समाहित करने का निश्चय किया | और एक जगह भर-पेट भोजन कर पहले-पहल पास ही में स्थित हिडिम्बा देवी के मंदिर की ओर चल दिए | बेहद खूबसूरत पेड़ों के झुरमुट में बने इस मंदिर में दर्शन के बाद आस पास के शांत वातावरण में कुछ चहलकदमी करते रहे | कभी हवा में लहराती कुछ आवाज़ों के बीच झूलों पर बच्चे बन कर, तो कभी भिन्न भिन्न दर्शनीय जगहों पर तस्वीरें खिंचवा कर | तदोपरान्त थोड़ा नीचे नदी किनारे जा कर हमने आराम किया और फिर शाम की तैयारी के लिए दो गुटों में बंट गए | शाम को स्टाफ की मदद से आग लगा कर उसके चारों और बैठ मदिरा की गर्माहट को भी महसूस किया | हल्की हल्की मदहोशी में मदमस्त हो कर मुम्बई के दौड़ भाग से दूर आप एक खुमारी में खो जाने के बाद एक अलग ही आनंद की अनुभूति करते हैं | इस तरह हमने रात का अंत किया |

दोज़ख में वापस

2007-11-12T15:16:00.000+05:30

Am back to the ghettos of Mumbai. Still reeling under the thermal shock of having come from 3-4 degrees to 20 degrees and now to sultry 30 degrees.

FYI: It took me more time to reach home from Mumbai airport than it took me from home in Jaipur to landing in Mumbai.

So while I dwell over and rue over the fact that i've come back to hell wait for the post on journey to 7th cloud with some beautiful people ...

प्रभु की खोज

2007-11-01T13:38:00.000+05:30

यूं ही एक दिन निकला मैं अनजान सा,
खोज में मेरे भगवान की,

काशी के तट पर मिले शम्भुनाथ जी,
देख कर आवरण उनका,
बंधी कुछ उम्मीद सी,
पर हम निकले ऐसे ही नाकारा,
पूरी न कर पाए छोटी सी,
पांच सौ एक की उनकी फ़ीस भी |

किया फिर हमने रुख काबा का,
पर यहाँ भी हताशा आई हाथ,
अल्लाह इश्वर के फर्क का ,
दे न पाए हम कोई जवाब |
गए थे हम एक मजार में,
बाहर आये बिना मालो असबाब|

ऐसी हे उधेड़्बून्द में फिर,
कदम बढ़े येशु के दरबार,
पर वहाँ भी फिर पूछा गया,
कौन हूँ मैं काफिर,
प्रोटेस्टेंट के कैथोलिक मेरा सरमाया,
अनपढ़ गंवार मैं फिर भाग आया|

घिरे इन सवालों से खुद की पहचान के
अचानक मिली फिर चारों ओर भीड़,
कोई आवाज़ कहती आओ छेड़ो जेहाद,
हम देंगे तुम्हारे हर सवाल का जवाब |
कोई कहता मारो तुम दो गद्दार राम सेतु के नाम,
हम देंगे तुम्हे असली पहचान|
कोई कहता बाक़ी सब हैं बस बदनाम,
एक मेरे ही प्रभु को दो सम्मान|
कहीं से फिर चली तलवार, सामने दरबार,
खून के धार के बीच चीत्कार |

इतना काफी था दोस्तों मेरे घर लौटने को,
छोड़ उस भगवान को जो बाहर बिक चुका था,
खो चुकी थी कबीर के वाणी,
शायद रहीम भी हंस रहे थे,
काबा हो या काशी,
इस हम्माम में सब नंगे थे |
मेरे राम बस मेरे साथ थे,
न किस सेतु न किसी मस्जिद के मोहताज थे,
मैं खुश हूँ अपनी नासमझी पर,
कम से कम ज़िंदगी तो मेरे साथ है|

यह प्रयास मेरा, समर्पित है उन सभी सम्मान्नीय प्रबुद्ध लोगों को जिन्होंने कभी न कभी मुझे समझाने की कोशिश की के प्रभु कौन हैं और अल्लाह कौन | जिन्होंने कभी मंदिर के नाम तो कभी जेहाद के नाम शायद ज़िंदगी को कम आँका है और जिनके लिए सड़क पर दो वक़्त की रोटी को जूझते लोगों से ज्यादा ज़रूरी आलीशान इमारतों बैठे बुत या कुछ पन्ने हैं | ऐसे सभी लोगों का मैं मुजरिम हूँ और क्षमाप्रार्थी भी जो मैं उनके जैसा न हो सका |

Am back ...

2007-11-01T13:07:00.000+05:30

Its been a long hiatus from my ground of expression. A lot has happened over the past couple of months. For good I’m sure and the life’s seldom been better. And the contrarian is back and for good.

What better place to come back in this field of expression than the airport lounge where some of my better posts have originated. Its been a long drive to the airport thanks to Mumbai traffic and as icing on the cake I meet/see/encounter these two gentle(men?). Both at the counter of Café Coffee Day.

The first encounter : I’m trying to buy some grub for myself in the limited cash that I have left with me (it’s the month end remember!!). Suddenly this feminine voice rings into my ears “Excuse me have we met?” I turn around and end up facing a guy to my surprise ! Obviously the fact that it’s the first time I’m seeing this person I retort “No. I don’t think so.” And the rest of the conversation goes like this

Guy: “Syndhem”

Me: “No”

Guy: “Aditya Birla Group”

Me: “No. I’m with Reliance Retail”

Guy: “So you with the garments biz. Sit at Dhirubhai Ambani Knowledge City.”

Me: “No”

Guy: “Vile Parle”

Me: “Sir, with due apologies, I’ve had a long day. Would you please excuse me.”

The second encounter was a passive one with yours truly just watching this young fellow with a very feminine walk. The person walks up to the CCD counter and asks in detail about each flavour of the coffee. Then selects a couple of items. “Bill amount Rs 101 Sir” says the guy at the cash counter. “No. I’ll not give 1 Re. I will not. Oh but I have Rs 2. I’ll give Rs 2.” “Where is the rest room?” “Would you please keep this for me while I come back from the rest room.” Then with the advent of a few of the fair skin people around, the person comes up with the statement that “Who are these fairs?”. That does it. Time to change my place and so I make a quite exit without listening to more of those stupid statements.

But it sets me about thinking. Oscar Wilde said “The mystery lies in the visible and not the invisible.” Each time a meet an interesting person (for whatever reasons that may make him interesting), it just reaffirms my belief in what he said. Each person or the person next to you itself presents himself/herself as a mystery. While we may keep running to look around that doesn’t meet the eye, the real challenge may lie right in front of our eyes and we may be truly oblivious of it. To go back to the people I met, what would it have been to try to know what exactly was his motive rather than arriving at pre-conceived conclusions. Or what would it be to see from the perspective of the second person and see if it was merely to seek attention that he was saying what he did?

Well what’s the point of this post? Maybe nothing. Just to tell myself again that each day there is something to learn. Each person is a mystery to be unraveled. And each moment a new discovery.

Logically yours

2007-09-30T01:38:00.000+05:30

My first logical question on logic to myself. "Should I be applying logic here?" Period.

Drive by Marine Drive

2007-09-10T11:12:00.000+05:30

The clouds are shining .....

And the lights are blinding ...

नयी सड़क

2007-09-09T22:52:00.001+05:30

ज़िंदगी के चौराहों पर,

यूं ट्रैफिक लाईट नहीं होती

होता है तो सिर्फ, हर दिशा को दर्शाता एक तीर

हम में से कुछ,

यूं ही खड़े रह जाते हैं,

तो कुछ एक तीर के सीध मॆं निकल जाते हैं

और कुछ उस रेत पर चल पड़ते हैं,

जहाँ कोई निशान नहीं होते

और फिर उन पदचिन्हों पर बनती है,

एक और नयी सड़क

यह वादा है मेरा

2007-09-09T22:44:00.000+05:30

यह वादा है मेरा,
उन हसीन पलों से,

कुछ जो फुर्सत में बीते,
किसी के साथ की खुशबू में भीगे,
ख़ुशी के रस से सराबोर,
भँवरे की तरह जिन्हे जिया मैंने

कुछ जो धीमे गुज़रे,
कंधे पर कुछ सामान लिए,
कुछ भारी ज़ख्मों का,
अनकही खामोशियों का

कुछ जो तेज़ गुज़रे,
क्षणभंगुर सफलताओं को चूमते,
सभी को जो पीछे छोड़ गए,
कुछ हाथ जो हाथ से छूट गए

कुछ जो थम से गए,
स्तब्ध से, अनमने,
मानो एक दीवार घड़ी पर,
सुई का कांटा रुका हो

और कुछ जो जी गए,
याद रहने को पर्यंत,
किसी हंसी में,
कुछ सच हुये सपनो में

यह वादा है मेरा,
कि उनकी छाप सिमटी रहेगी,
स्मृतियों मॆं,
जिन्दगी की पाठशाला के,
हर पाठ को मैं जिंदा रखूंगा

यह वादा है मेरा,
उन हसीन पलों से...

Chak De India !

2007-09-02T18:27:00.001+05:30

No this post is not about Sagarika Ghatge (aka Priti Sabharwal) nor is it about the wonders that the movie might do to Indian Women's Hockey. My views are about the movie per se and more importantly the reactions of the audience that I observed while watching the movie (three times for that matter). These moments which triggered some questions in my mind.

The instances that evoked strong reaction :

Instance one: Top of the moments is when India's flag is being unfurled and SRK says "Pehli baar kisi gore ko India ka jhanda fahraate huye dekh raha hoon". The theatre gets filled with claps and whistles. And it made me ask if the shadows of British Rule still lurk in our sub-consciousness. We still feel liberated by mere mentions of some such acts which may seem trivial to a logical mind but not to the millions of emotional Indian hearts. A cynical may ask if there is any significance in such a reaction while a nationalist may find more than just significance in it. I don't know if its counter mechanism or just a blip on the radar. It just rattles me in the sense that why is it that only when a light skinned man does things that we like, do we recognise our own sense of pride. Just a question ...

Instance two: Priti Sabharwal towards the end strikes that soft and yet emphatic note to Komal Chautala about proving to the proverbial "launda". Rooted by women and men alike, it put me starkly in front of a question that I personally feel strongly about. Why do women still have to "prove" it, that too to men. Though the movie does get the message through, I would be interested to see what would have been the reaction if she had dumped the guy before going into the world cup itself. I mean why do women have to prove it at all? Why can't they just believe in themselves? I know I may invite the ire of some people on this. But that's the view I hold. If at all they need to prove it, it has to be to themselves. I agree the environment we have around us, from the workplace to the sports field is no where conducive. But to give importance enough by allowing them to "give" you the credit, instead of appreciating it as given amounts to playing into their psyche itself. May sound convoluted but does hold some merit? Or doesn't it? Think.

Instance three: When the ladies walk into the dinner in Saris. Pan audience a whiff of wows. Well hats off to the director for having thought over it. Does score a point and how! But it reminded me of a note that Shashi Tharoor had written on the issue of Saris (I think it was in Times of India) and how the garment has slowly gradually been reduced/shrinked to a special occasion symbol. Working women may lynch me for the point and I do agree that perhaps it may not exactly be comfortable always, but I do feel that it has been neglected under the garb of such arguments a bit as well. I mean, how many work profiles do actually necessiate western formals esp western formals? Some may argue that salwar is also Indian garment, to them I'll just rest my case by the argument that nothing beats sari when it comes to bringing the truely feminine beauty of Indian women.

And the moments which just passed by without any reaction or an absurd one in my mind..

Vidya Sharma saying "Is paar ya us paar" in the initial moments of the movie... The players from North-East asking the pertinent question of being called guests in their own country. ..The laughter evoked by the players of Jharkhand.

All said and done its just a reminder to myself and an attempt to understand people around me. To give it the due credit, the movie helps me do that. Its a very well made movie with taut screenplay and some real good performances. One special scene that I would really commend SRK for is the last one where he shows a restrained response to the win. Against his natural demeanour its a brilliant display. And for all the stupid questions I may ask, if the movie does good to sports like Hockey, who gives a damn to these questions.

P.S: on second thoughts, any mention of the movie without Sagarika does sound incomplete, doesn't it? Well man, she IS awesome :)

Firsts ...

2007-09-02T18:25:00.000+05:30

Sometimes unfortunate things remind us of the memories that get buried under the layers but when sifted through they fill up with a mix bag of emotions. A very close friend met with an accident and her car got damaged. Her anguish over it (being her family's first car which would have seen almost 20 years now) brought to me the memories of my first's that I no more have with me. My first cycle. My dad's cycle that I used to go to the school. My Dad's first scooter that I used to learn. My own first scooter. My first bike. My first books and my first few pens. Its actually interesting how memories keep flashing up of these little things and remind us of the times. The good and the bad. The smiles and the tears. Well to cut it short, this is to the memories. For all the learnings and all the smiles they bring.

The Good ..The Bad ..The Ugly

2007-09-02T17:53:00.000+05:30

The Good ...

The Bad ...

The Ugly ...

And that's when the first thing you have to do is shell out 5 bucks per head as "Pollution Tax". Can we have a dust bin at least please.

Dedicated to Lonavala Municipal Corporation and to the holidaying crowd of this country.

The Left ain't Right

2007-08-19T15:56:00.000+05:30

For a change media has a new topic of some substance to write home about. Though in my opinion its as old as the existence of so called "Communist movement" in India. Current context is the debate between Left and the government over the 123 pact on Nuclear collaboration between India and US. Whether its an ego issue between the two or a regular tussle, that only time will decide, but for now, to me it presents a classic example of identity crisis that the Left movement faces in this country.

Communist leadership seems to have run out of ideas to hold onto their much vaulted image (amongst the "bhadra lok") and only the fear of losing their relevance can cause such absurd reactions. I mean consider this : The same set of people who left no stone unturned in criticising the then Vajpayee government for conducting the nuclear tests now talks about the souvereignty of the nation for carrying our own nuclear program.

Its a long time since Naxalbadi movement became the face of Communist movement. Yet the left leadership continues to live in a sort of cocoon of the ideals that socialism looks for. Having been born and brought up by a communist father I had the opportunity of being exposed to their ideas. Though the ideas may sound altruistic with the basic ethos of parity being a well thought of concept, India as a nation poses different challenges. If I have to list a few of them, top most in them would be its Diversity, Population, Religion and Distribution of resources/Poverty apart from others. So in this context, to believe that any socialistic idea can be replicated within Indian fabric would amount to either fooling yourself or assuming others to be.

Lets face it, over the last 60 years of independence we may have remained a vibrant democracy but we have also further deteriorated into "groups" / "herds" marked by the lines of religion or caste or region. The fact that the natural resources in the sub-continent are inequitably spread has further deepened this divide. The rest whatever remained has been paralysed by utterly dismaying political leadership that WE chose for ourselves. The result is a conglomerate of interest groups who would first drive their own interest and then if space be that of the nation. If I have to count the number of causes that these interest groups would come together for would either be arising out of Extreme (misplaced/euphoric) nationalism against Pakistan or a tendency to forget life in dreams (like in Bollywood) or a desire to look for so hard to find "role models" like in Cricket. All this the fact that what we are looking as a world order, is strongly determined by the economic strength.

In this context what does the Left do? They create a pseudo intellectual realm where truth becomes its own victim by alienating a majority - posing/distorting its own face in the hands of the right. They become the self righteous guardians of the conscience of this country. The so called protectors of minority rights (thus creating further tensions). In the garb of moving towards classless society they hasten the process of fractured caste based politics. Last but not the least, when you know that market economy is here to stay you follow contradictory strategies at centre and states.

At this point let me make it clear that I'm not questioning there intentions. Its there means that I beg to differ with and there utter inability to consider the peculiarities of this nation. Its not a Russia that can see a disruptive action through the efforts of some Lenin. Its not a China which will allow itself to be ruled by someone like Mao without questions.

Religion is a fact in India. Caste has become another reality thanks to emergence of likes of Mayawati, Lau and Mulayam. Regionalism is going to get aggravated with some states moving ahead faster than others and Naidu, Jayalalitha, Karunanidhi exploiting it to hilt. So the need is to find a factor that can make people think alike and think right. The only possible candidate for that would be Economics. Poverty is a common thread that can bind people. The challenge is to use correct means to weave this fabric. Correct means would be education and health. Preservation of our identity would automatically happen. The questions of souvereignty would fall in place by themselves.

Till then please don't rake up trivial issues and stop fooling yourself and this nation. Come out of it and face the reality. The world has changed and so should we. Instead of giving this nation political instability, be sane enough to present before it the right issues and problems that people willingly challenge and resolve. Rather than making it Left Vs Right make it an inertia Vs development fight. Unless the nation develops, all these stupid debates will continue. When History judges, you will be far behind in some corner as bunch of people who could never come out of the warp of idiosyncratic utopian idealism and who failed to make any constructive contribution to the nation.

Random ...

2007-08-19T01:15:00.000+05:30

Finally I get some time to write and update the blog. Its been a hectic period with more chaos to come forth. Was lucky enough to be in Lucknow the past week and unlucky enough for not being able to spend much time on campus. But there were periods there that left me with a flurry of thoughts some time.

Stage 1 : Distribution centre of my company - Classic example of "Lakhnawi Andaaz aka Nawaabi Andaaz". Let everything be served on a platter and we'll enjoy it. I wonder if that's not a pan India phenomenon also. Maybe its even inherent in Indians to find the shortest and easiest possible way to not just do the work but even pass it on to someone else as well. I wonder what is it that prevents people from learning or rather even inculcating the desire to learn. Where and at what stage in one's life does one plateau? Be it professional aspect or personal, isn't it that we can always strive to learn? Do we just tire out or do we just give up? Is cynicism inevitable or is it the shadow of much fabled "Tolerance" of Indians - the famous "chalta hai attitude". I don't know myself for I can't imagine myself stagnated. It frustrates me no end to find that I'm not learning. But the more I look for answers around, I see just plain inertia. Be it out of sheer lack of strength or a desire to just be in a cocoon of comfort zone. That's the way we are and that's the way we would be. Is that all that we have to honour ourselves with in the 60th Year of independence?

Stage 2 : IIM-L campus - I met my fellow (junior) PRiSMites. PRiSM has always been close to my heart simply for the friends it gave me and the opportunity it gave me to learn so much. One of the most integral aspects of my campus life at L. But this time campus wore a worn look. As if the buildings were breathing heavily and the absence of my friends made them wear a pale shade of yellow and dull brown. It just told me how an institution is not by its edifices but by the people who run it and form a part of it. Which is why I felt the sense of comfort with the Juniors. However their enthu about girls and girlfriends may have amused me or made me feel a little older the same aspects just made me feel younger and full of life. The campus was at lease reverberating with energy. I miss it. And for all I miss it for the people.

P.S : Latest Null hypothesis (to be proved though there is enough empirical evidence) : The number of people who flunk in a batch is directly co-related to the number of girls in the batch.

Stage 3 : Room in Clarks - Marvellous view. Peaceful. I have come back tired and yet I don't feel that need to crash early. But yes I do feel sleepy at the right time and I get up at the right time. The routine seems to fitting. Reminds me of the rush of Mumbai. And I shudder. Can't life be so peaceful like this everywhere? Reminds me of the song that fits Mumbai so well - seene mein jalan

Igatpuri

2007-08-02T23:31:00.000+05:30

Nestling in beautiful surroundings is an ugly looking resort, which appears like a white blot on a green canvas. That’s about the only negative of a place called Igatpuri, on the Mumbai-Nashik highway (around 40 Kms before Nashik). Rest everything is blissful, peaceful and truly beautiful.

The four of us (the usual suspects) headed for this place on a beautiful Saturday morning with the added pleasure on my part of skipping the office. We had a long night behind us when we started (with all of us having enough to warm our blood and still wake up late into the night) early at around 7. Soon having left the muddle and puddles of Mumbai behind, we were onto the highway which was gradually giving way to beautiful sights on either side. Lush green under the dark shadows of the lingering clouds. The weather just seemed perfect. No rains and no sun beating down. As if the perfect stage had been set for the 4 squared of us. While wondering about the weather, we reached the ghats and some awesome scenery was in store for us. Flanked by the railway tracks disappearing into tunnels sometimes and on others the mist kissing the roads to make it look like a hill station.

By 11 we had reached the resort and nature was at its brilliant best. So much so that despite the long night none of us wanted to rest and we just filled ourselves and hit the trek to the hills. The resort is surrounded on three sides by the hills which present a lot of opportunities to give the knees an exercise or two. After soaking in the beauty at a lesser height we decided to go further ahead. And without too many huffs and puffs with occasional hurdles due to the terrain we scaled one beautiful after another before coming to a rest on top of a small waterfall. There lay the beautiful scene of the hills truly hugging us while the valley seemed to call us to plunge. Far ahead lay the railway tracks on which the trains chugged along. Not many sounds and not deep silences either. We sometimes soaked it in silently while at other moments we shared the joy.
Soon the hunger pangs led us to start descending. The descent as expected was faster but at times tougher. And by the time we touched the base down, it started raining hard and we were drenched to the skin. I for once was reminded of my joyous moments in rain and I just couldn’t help soaking it in to the full.

Soon after lunch having got fresh naturally, we now headed back to the hills with our books. Under a gentle inviting tree we sat to spend some peaceful moments to ourselves. Away from the chores of office, from the calls of civilization and the nuisance of practical life as they call it. We talked to ourselves and within ourselves in the peaceful glory of nature. Yeah the occasional photo shoots were anyways thrown in.

After dark we came back tired to the resort and had a gala wine party (getting it into the resort itself was a story). And after a long session of fun talk, the alleviating flow of alcohol in the veins and the lactic acid in the muscles, we went off to a serene sleep. For me it was one of the deepest and most enjoyable ones.

Day two, we woke up to a good amount of sunshine with the clouds playing occasional hide n seek. Soon we were again in a mood to rest our backs on a tree if possible or in a calm solitary place. We spotted one such next to a “mazaar” which lay well hidden behind a normal eyesight. And what a place it was. Hidden away from too many eyes, perfect view of railway lines and the winding roads. Well I for one could actually relive my memories of climbing trees as well. And from the tree was visible a couple of distant lakes. Something that I saw from the tree my friends could see without doing that also but none the less the pretty sight lured us and begged us to be visited.

And what a beautiful place it was. Sparsely inhabited, by the lake side with only a few souls to spoil the serenity. Some trees scattered, as if they had been just dropped there. We were all truely mesmerised. The hills in the backdrop of the lake while the sun continued to hide behind the clouds made for some fantastic scenic snaps. We lived the moments in silence watching the ripples in the lake and letting the breeze flow through our hair.

It was time to start back but it was also time to look back at the time just gone by with some of the fondest memories which would always bring back smiles whenever we feel we don't have enough of them. That was the kind of place - Igatpuri.

P.S : For those who wish for a more lively account of this trip with more snaps would do well to visit here.

उत्तरों का सन्नाटा

2007-08-02T23:17:00.000+05:30

भूख लगती थी तब भी मुझको,
जब दो वक़्त की रोटी से पेट भरता था,
भूख आज भी है मुझको,
जब घी के पराँठे और पनीर,
खा कर भी पेट खाली रहता है

प्यास तब भी थी मुझको,
जो घड़े के चुल्लू भर पानी से बुझती थी,
गला पर अब पर्यंत सूखा है मेरा,
जब जाम से जाम टकराते हैं,
मयखाने दर मयखाने भटकते

विचरता था स्वच्छंद तब भी मैं,
जब सपने अपने थे और आसमान भी अपना
उड़ता हूँ आज भी वहीं,
बस किसी हवाई जहाज़ की सीट
के बोर्डिंग पास पर नाम है मेरा

धुल जाता था तब चेहरा,
बारिश की चंद बूंदों मॆं,
आज भी मैला हो आता है,
कालिख मगर आज रह जाती है,
साबुन की परतों मॆं रगड़ते रगड़ते

जिन्दगी दौड़ती थी तब भी,
जब मैं भाग कर बस मॆं,
उसे पकड़ लेता था
आज वो भागती है डिवाइडर के उस तरफ,
और मैं बस उसे मौन देखता हूँ कार मॆं

आईने मॆं दिखती थी कभी एक छवि,
आज सिर्फ एक छाया है,
कौन हूँ मैं, किसका यहाँ घर है,
मोहपाशों की एक माया है,
प्रश्नों के इस जंगल मॆं, उत्तरों का सन्नाटा है

लल्लन

2007-07-25T00:28:00.000+05:30

यह प्रयास है उन अनगिनत लोगों को समर्पित जो इस देश के उस विशाल जन-समूह के एक अंग हैं जिसे हम मिडिल क्लास के नाम से जानते हैं
यह कहानी है लल्लन प्रसाद की जो हमारे इस देश के किसी कोने में (कोई सा भी कोना हो सकता है क्योंकि कहानी शायद फिर भी वही रहेगी) जन्मे और इस जनसमुद्र में किसी बूँद की तरह खो गए

आये लल्लन बडे उल्लास में,
सारा गाँव दिए दमकाए,
जन्मे कृष्ण कन्हैया मानो,
मात-पिता हर्षाये
किलकारी कब हुई ख़त्म,
लल्लन लगे नाम बुदबुदाये ,
विद्यालय की ओर तब,
नन्हे कदम बढाए

पहुंचे कक्षा में,
फिसलती निक्कर पहन आये,
टीचर पूछी नाम जब,
होशियार लल्लन दिए बतलाये,
पूछी फिर जब वो,
"क्या बनोगे तुम लल्लन?"
लल्लन असमंजस में उलझाये
बूझ अबूझ का अंतर जाने ना,
अनुत्तर वो रह आये

पग लंबे हुये,
लल्लन पास होते आये,
टीचर फिर पूछी उनसे तब,
"बनोगे लल्लन?"
पहली बार वो मुस्काये,
बोले, पायलट हम बन जाये,
बोली टीचर उनको,
चलो हम तुम्हे पायलट बनाए,
खुली धुप में एक टांग पर,
उड़ते रहे लल्लन बौराए,
भूत उतरा एक ही दिन में,
पायलट से तौबा कर आए

हुई निक्कर छोटी जब,
लल्लन पैंट पहन कर घर आये,
पूछे चाचा जब उनसे,
क्या बनोगे लल्लन,
लल्लन फिर मुस्काये,
बोले, खिलाडी हम बन जाये,
दहाड़े चाचा गुर्रा कर,
कौन सा खेल जो तुमको भाये,
पढो लिखो बस तुम अब,
जो ना टांग तुम्हारी तोडी जाये

निखरे कुछ और रंग,
दुनिया भी आकर्षक लग आये,
पूछा तब दद्दु ने,
हमारा पोता क्या बन ना चाहे,
लल्लन हुये गम्भीर,
बोले, पेंटर हम बन जाएँ,
लगे दद्दु चिल्लाने,
कौन इसे यह पाठ पढाये,
इस से पहले के यह ब्रुश उठाएँ,
हरिद्वार हम हो आये

किशोरावस्था का प्रसंग ,
फिर कुछ प्रेयसियों के संग,
आंखो में मस्ती के रंग,
पूछी माताजी, क्या बनोगे लल्लन,
लल्लन दिए कॉलर झटकाये ,
बोले, हीरो हम बन जाये,
दिया चपत गाल पर माँ ने,
खबरदार जो भांड गिरी पर आये,
कान उमेठे फिर जो बस,
सारे फिल्मी रंग आंसू बन आये

पहुंचे कालेज में फिर लल्लन,
दिल बड़ा घबराए,
पहले दिन ही निकले घर से,
बाप दिए हड्काये,
रखना याद इतना बस,
होगा दरवाज़ा यह बंद,
फर्स्ट क्लास जो तुम ना लाए,
पढे लिखों के दुनिया में,
नम्बरों का आंकड़ा,
कभी कम ना आये

इसी उधेड़ बूँद में बीते दिन,
कभी डाक्टर तो कभी,
इंजीनियर वो बन ना पाए,
घिसी चप्पल, लटकाया झोला,
लीडरी भी वोह ना कर पाए
परिवार भी हुआ ट्रस्ट जब,
आयी ए एस ना वो बन पाए
मन माना ना माना,
पिताजी दिए शादी करवाये,
लगा जुगाड़ जब कहीँ से,
बाबू वो बन आए

जा रहे हैं देखिए,
किसी सड़क पर वो ले कर,
जूनिअर लल्लन को काँधे पर,
फिर कुछ आंखों के सपने,
कुलबुलाते जन्म ले रहे उधर
फिर एक लल्लन की ललक,
फिर एक लल्लन की कसक,
और दोनो ही का बस एक सफ़र,
किसी मोड पर खडे,
एक खामोश सवाल तक

खिड़की

2007-07-10T00:12:00.000+05:30

आज फिर खिड़की बंद है,
हवा में एक ठहराव है,
रुके हुये से पलों में,
शायद जिन्दगी का एक और पड़ाव है,
भीतर उमस भरी गर्मी,
पलंग पर दो शरीरों का पसीना,
गीली चादरों में लिपटे,
कुछ सूखे से एहसास हैं,

चन्द दिनों पहले ही यूं मिले थे,
बारिशों की पदचाप में,
आज भी हैं बादल मगर,
बिन बूंदों के घिरी,
सिर्फ एक घटा है,
कल तक जो कलरव था,
दिलों के स्पंदन का,
आज बस अभूज खामोशी,
का अंतर्नाद है,

किस मोड से मुड़े थे हम,
कुछ पल जीने को,
स्वच्छंद ,
आज सड़क की जगह,
सिर्फ बियाबान है,

कहॉ भटके खबर नहीं,
क्यों खो गए जानते नहीं ,
हर सवाल पर होंठ,
लाजवाब हैं,
चूमा था सोच कर जिसे,जिन्दगी,
इन होंठों ने,
वोह तो आज भी तार तार है,
साजों का संगीत विलुप्त,
शब्दों की लड़ी भी बेतार है,

क्यों कर फिर भी बढते हैं,
क्यों किसी का इंतज़ार है,
पाने की है चाह अभी भी अमिट ,
देखते अभी भी हम किसी की राह हैं,
कोई खोले आ कर यह खिड़की,
शायद, अब भी कुछ,
ऐसे आसार हैं,
खिड़की है उत्श्रन्खाल,
हवा भी शायद बेताब है

Good bye Times of India

2007-07-09T23:35:00.000+05:30

It just gets worse from bad. As it is my aversion to media is increasing, every now and then something just accelerates the process. Consider this :
1) Times of India : Carries photograph(s) of a young lady stabbed 20 times by a jilted lover. Full glaring photograph where the lady is bleeding profusely and wears that painful and bewildered look, staring into the camera, asking would you please see that I need help and not a flash of the flash in my eyes. Further shameful is the fact that the photo also shows a group of onlookers who are doing everything except for helping the lady and watching a tamasha. Fuck you guys. Fuck you for carrying the photos. And fuck all those spineless bastards who did nothing. And god help the mental faculties of the photographer.
2) Morning telecast of the news channels. Every channel would carry "how would your day be", particularly the Hindi channels.
3) Another one, this time IBN7 :
Headline one "Biwi kee zid"
Headline two "Yeh kaisi shaadi"
Headline three "Ek anokha rishta".

Thanks but no thanks.

Some of us may argue for the freedom of expression. I'd not argue on that front. As a soul who's not numb yet and would not prefer being dished out crap.

My only reaction to all this action is that its adieu to Times of India. Good bye to all Hindi news channels (particularly IndiaTV). It may not be the demise of responsible journalism yet (with the likes of Hindu and Express still doing their bit) but it still is a sorry reflection of the fact that news is saleable and it sells when it is the worst.

चंद बूँदें ...

2007-06-23T14:08:00.000+05:30

सूखी पलकों पर बारिश की चंद बूँदें,
थिरकती हुई चहरे पर गिर कर,
भिगोती हुई अंतर्मन तक,
समाती मिट्टी मॆं
मिट्टी की सौंधी खुशबू,
उद्वेलित करती,
रस भरती नशीले,
यह बारिश की चंद बूँदें
मैंने देखा है ज़िन्दगी को खिलते,
इन बूंदों मॆं,
कभी पानी मॆं कुलाचे भरते,
नन्हे पैरों मॆं,
तो कभी बरसाती के नीचे,
सिमटी हुई एक मुस्कुराहट मैं
अठखेली करती चूडियों मॆं,
तो कभी भीगे कपड़ों मॆं लजाती,
बालाओं के बालों मॆं
महसूस किया है मैंने,
उत्श्रन्खल मन के भावों को,
इस बारिश के उन बाणों मॆं,
एक तमन्ना फिर जीने के,
मद मदिरा के उन्मादों मॆं,
बहारों की फुहारों मॆं,
तो कभी जल के तांडव मॆं,
इस वेग को,महसूस कराती हैं,
आह्लादित करती,
यह चंद बूँदें,
मनमौजी, बारिश की यह, चंद बूँदें

"News made Exciting"

2007-06-17T13:13:00.001+05:30

Another visit to Chennai and another amusing hoarding. This time it reads "News Made Exciting" and to give you more details, the caption on the girl's t-shirt reads "FDI retail : Boom or Bust" .. If this is the way to make news exciting .. well .. I don't know if I wanna read Deccan Chronicle at all.

Incidentally, last time the same newspaper had another hoarding with similar beautiful looking lady giving an equally beautiful expression and the caption read "Courageous". I wish courage was that beautiful lol.

Technological Leap?

2007-06-17T13:03:00.000+05:30

I wonder if a day will come when machines may generate humans but here on a lighter side is what my travel desk sends me .. "System Generated"

Now an "executive" dust bin ...

2007-06-04T23:29:00.000+05:30

Don't ask me where it is but it is .. For those who may not be able to read the complete text .. It reads like this
EXECUTIVE DUST BIN.
Environment Friendly.
Practical & convenient design
for your home and office use.

I don't know about the convenience or practicality of design, but how I wish it could accomodate some "Executives"

Yummm ... Typical ..

2007-06-04T23:20:00.002+05:30

In this new series of my little things wherein I try to capture a few funny moments that come across like a blip .. here is one more.. How about a restaurant name "Typical Vheg Kadhai" in Hindi.. here it is ..

यह मेरा इंडिया

2007-06-04T23:12:00.001+05:30

Though the image is a bit hazy (taken from inside a car) its a Sony Wega box on a bicycle. Now I wonder if it actually has a Wega also in it but .. What if it does? Door to door delivery of TVs? Not a bad idea huh... to catch a line of their competitor.. Its not that hard to imagine ?

गोदान पर इनकम टैक्स

2007-06-04T21:46:00.000+05:30

Look closely, the company that Premchand is in. "साईं बाबा की लीलाएँ" and "इनकम टैक्स कैसे बचाएँ " Need I say more about our apathy to Hindi Literature। For those who are wondering about the location। Its "Landmark" ॥ one of the most renowned book store chain. Reminds me of the beauty of "Universal Book Depot" in Lucknow ॥ I miss it.
P.S : Those wondering why this post is in English? The answer is .. Interpret

The first rains ..

2007-06-01T00:30:00.000+05:30

Finally some respite from the Mumbai heat. And its raining. The sky was painted occasionally with vivid descriptors in form of lightening. Reminds me of my childhood when I used to chuckle at thunderclaps. When i'd stare out of the window and eagerly note the lag between the lightening and the thunder. Trying to predict rain to my mom by looking at the colour of the clouds. Or wonder how close the cloud is by the decibel level of the thunder and how quickly it came. And then dance in the rain to feel the heat wilt and the dust settle and the soul melt. And then one day I wrote ...

मत कोसो बारिश की बूंदों को,
आंसू छुपाने का अच्छा बहाना हैं,
कल की किसको खबर,
आज सावन की रौ में बह जाना है

Burden of being from an IIM

2007-06-01T00:28:00.000+05:30

Indian Institute of Management : The buzz wword that can put people on alert, make eyes dreamy and raise a few eye brows. Many a dreams in this country, for a "successful" life begin with this word or climax at it. However what I write today is not what we all know but what, having gone through it, I feel about it. The immediate trigger of this train of thought is a bit personal sad experience but none the less I've dwelled over it for quite some time and experienced it on more than one occasions. I call it, as the title of this post suggests, the burden of being from an IIM.

How and why? Consider this - A fresh graduate from IIM enters a renowned organization with dreams and castles of making an impact. So how many and what kind of reactions does he bear? A few samples:
Person one (Age > 50) : "Oh so you are from IIM. Wonderful my kid is also aspiring for it. But he doesn't study. Why don't you guide him?"
Person two (Age - 35-40) : "OK. So you are from IIM. great. Welcome" The rest of it that remains unsaid and you see it through the eyes could be either "Ok. You snob. I'll show you what it is to be here" or "Ok. Here comes another one hee hee. Let me rub my hands a bit. Welcome to the slaughter" or "Hmm.. Another one. He'll surely rise faster than me and screw my next appraisal" etc etc
Person three (Age - Late 20s) : "Hi. Welcome hope you are able to prove yourself. Challenge."
Person four (He's himself from an IIM) : "Hey fucker. So what's up at the college." The unsaid part is, look at these youngsters, must have come at a salary higher than me. Whatever happened to batch parity."

Beyond this the usual team insecurities, the HR incompetencies, organizational practices have the capability to make it a nightmare. I am not contesting the fact that on this professional front things should be rosy. A person from IIM would usually take this on as a challenge. But why single him/her out? Why that need to ask him to prove an extra mindless point? Or is it his/her fault to earn more than his/her peers not from that background?

Alas, we all live in a rat race so maybe that's the reason.

But apart from this professional amusement what bothers me more as a person is the social aspect of it. Other day a friend of mine put it like this "IIM guys hang around in their own groups. They are supposed to have their own culture with its own values and attributes and behave accordingly. They are expected to be more intelligent and sophisticated blah blah blah". A few questions on this to this society that we live in.
What is this culture that you talk about? What are those attributes? Did we ask you to put us on a pedestal? Why should this culture be obliged to satisfy your expectations? Why should an individual be expected to live up to your expectations? Why the hell does an IIM come first before the person? Any answers? I doubt. People just love to eulogize to either excuse their own fears and incompetencies or they are just looking for a scapegoat to laugh at and prove some point.

I agree, they are respectable institutions. I know coz I've experienced what all they give to an individual. The qualities, the positives and the negatives. But trust me each one of our tribe (as people put it) would still prefer to be that self first than a mere IIM product. Why can't we be considered normal and be respected for what we are than what our tag is? There are n number of people who could be more competent and yet not get the recognition. So don't burden us by giving us recognition first and then either justify the act or pull down the individual so hard so that you can have a hearty laugh. Be just. Be fair. Be normal. Both for your own sake and for our sake.

I see HOPE

2007-06-01T00:19:00.000+05:30

In continuation to my previous post I'm happy to note that I found hope. I didn't have to go too far off, I found it right within our country.
Consider this :
1) Shiv Sena asked restaurant chain Bombay Blue to rename themselves Mumbai Blue.
2) Moral police went ahead in their charge and ransacked an art students work in Baroda.
3) Violence in Punjab and Haryana over a sect leader wearing a dress like Guru Nanak
4) CPI(M) wants retailers to be controlled by license.
5) 15 people were killed in police firing in Jaipur while protesting to ask for reservation.
6) The BMW hit and run accused's counsel is caught on tape trying to strike a deal with the witness.

For those self-righteous intellectuals who might be reading this with a frown on their face (including me ha ha) by now or searching for hope in above examples, relax. I can prove it how all of the above can help our nation.

One it can help solve the unemployment problem. All those who have nothing to do can join in acts like that of Shiv Sena and get paid by the smart bums like them. Two, the efforts against the freedom of expression can ease out the tensions by reinstating the faith, in long living rigid traditions, which ascribe to the artists as enigma for society and hence, the children of tomorrow may not dream of being one.

Three, the violence will keep the rusting ammunition of police well oiled, saving the maintenance cost while the health sector can also see blips. License raj off course we all know, how it helps filling so many pockets. The media will save the costs of "creating" news while getting enough sound bites to fill up their prime times. And if that is not enough, asses like me can rant about their musings or masturbate over blogs like this regarding the burning issues. Or to put it mildly, make love to our own ideologies and derive orgasmic pleasure of doing nothing.

For those who have not yet got the hint of sarcasm in my post can go and join the Shiv Sena or Bajrang Dal or Muslim League or whatever. Vacancies in abundance. Only qualification

required, you should not have a brain and you should be jobless.

Show me some HOPE

2007-05-25T22:02:00.000+05:30

After quite a few days I managed to catch some news on Television (how peaceful can life be without this idiot box on mind). 9'O Clock News on NDTV. Half an hour and I'm screaming for Hope. Please bring some element of hope in the news apart from just distress.

What does it contain? Well for one a moving story on Child Rape victims. Then a brutal lathi charge on people in Chhatisgarh. A man fighting for his life with no money to pay for his treatment. And a reminder of the Friday blasts in Hyderabad. On business front there is this newly elected Chief Minister of UP, Ms Mayawati telling proudly that each decision of previous government will be reviewed. Great. Next thing we know would happen is another city being named after some poor souls sleeping peacefully in their graves only to be recalled in the statues that have to be erected. Interestingly, I wonder how many of us know that a mere name change of a city can cost a government upto 250 crores for all the documentation that needs to be revised etc etc. There is a lot in a name indeed I guess. And this is the same lady who's an accused in the Taj Mahal land case. Beware Mr Mulayam Singh Yadav, tough days ahead of you. What else is news? Don't ask me. Maybe some another incidence of moral policing? Or another shameless parade of toppers of CBSE in front of camera as if the rest of 99% students who couldn't figure there have no more to live for as their careers are doomed without a chance in St Stephen's or an SRCC or St Xavier's. Fuck it. I couldn't even watch it further.

And I ended up writing this post? Why? For once please for the sake of hopelessly hopeful people like me, don't take away that pleasure from us. Show me some hope somewhere?

God's Own Abode

2007-05-17T22:45:00.000+05:30

Much as I may have an excuse of not having posted this early, I don't there can be any for laziness. So let me just say better late than never.

For those who know me from close quarters know my love for travel and yet its always remained a mystery (including to myself) that how come I never travelled to GOA ? Well the only explanation could be that almost like any other travel of mine this was also bound to happen only at its destined time, without planning and maximum fun.

So walked (or should I say breezed ??) these moments of happiness and "Jyo" in my life wherein I could finally touch the land of God's Own Abode (GOA).

This place, strikes you even before you land there. With the aircraft taking n number of turns and m maneouvers, as if trying n X m combinations before deciding which one to take for landing. And all this while you can enjoy some breathtaking view of this green calm land dotted with trees and generously sprinkled blue around it.

The airport gives a feel of a small town (much to my amazement it actually reminded me of Bareilly bus stand during my Mukteshwar trip). On our way to the place we were supposed to stay (Hotel Goa Astoria), we were presented with some beautiful scenic pictures, which, rightly so, were just a precursor to the great times that lay ahead. A little apprehensive of the place to stay as it didn’t have A/C I was just wishing it to be just the kind of small place that I love to stay in with the hope of getting the maximum taste of the local taste. And the moment I landed at the place all the hopes and wishes came true. Nestled in greenery like a treasure trove of beauty this place captures your heart with its serenity and the warmth of its people.

A room with its high wooden roof, glass tiles for the sunshine to play its games, a couple of chairs to talk silently and a window that opens into nature. Can it get better? Yes, if you decide to take walks with a good opinionated listener who could you rip you apart or whom you could destroy with words. Both willingly with only a feeling of respect and joy for each other. And it just gets better when one just decides to laze around absorbing all this. And thus bidding the first night a bye.

Day 1: You wake up to the songs of birds and the ruckus of insects, all of them celebrating the rise of sun in unison perhaps. Reminding us of how in the cities we forget the advent of the day as an event. At the breakfast table you are greeted by an old gentleman, full of desire to talk and reflect on the past or bring us to greet history that’s hidden in each part of a more than 200 yr old house or the ingenuity of wormiculture.

Soon there is a bike (my fav Pulsar) to head of to the first beach. We hit the road that winds through peacefully through the houses and the trees and the lakes and … Each house with a “pair” of chairs outside the porch. As if they’ve witnessed so many incidents, captured so many moments and heard so many stories that they’ve decided to entertain each other with their own experiences. We go past through the churches, some already done with their service and some abuzz with celebrations.

Soon we reach Anjuna, where the sea greets us with not a ferocious roar but a gentle hum. One is eager to feel the sand beneath the feet. To make the footprints in sand. And watch them being washed away, unless someone decides to follow them. The sea is playful, trying to touch our feet or asking us to touch its lips. A kiss is a kiss. It happens and it gives joy. Walking past the numerous small eateries to the rocky ends, one can lie down and close the eyes. With the shades shielding from the sun, the ears at their eager best to listen to the music of water. The eyes trying to capture the moment of beauty in form of a lady, with astute figure and a tall graceful walk, with a payal in one leg… Gajagamini? As if everything had been set to a script. The script written by my companion?

Before one is soaked into the beauty the sun’s giving its last salute. One decides to watch it go down with a glass of wine. Sauvignon Blanc so it should be then.. The night back is as peaceful as it can be. Some wonderful food under gentle lights and light breeze and minimal noise. Joslin is at his best again.

The after dinner walk as usual is full of composure, calm and astute love again. The discussion, in its silence is more loud. The touch of fingers is more verbal. The moonlight is dim and the darkness is glowing.

The fall of night two …

Day 2 : The first half is spent in ideating and idling .. Pondering over the breakfast and brooding over the lunch, much in anticipation of what lies ahead in the day. Soon we are heading to southern tip of Goa, towards Keri beach. Could never make to Tiracol Resort but nonetheless the almost deserted status of Keri is more than alluring. And what better than a bike ride that’s long ? So of we are again on the bike towards Keri. The drive starts on the usual beautiful note.. but it soon expands into a breathtaking spectacle.. It passes over the rivers, it rises into the ghats, it falls into the view of beaches, it breaches into the congested lanes, it whispers around the churches and it screams in the markets… it runs parallel to hypnotic sands till it halts into the tranquility of Keri. It takes sometime before one can fully absorb it. With a river leading into the sea and far across a fort glowing in its bright colours I dream of a dream house. We walk in silence. We know words are futile. The sea is dangerously treacherous. Its laying a trap. Its screaming and howling and its foaming at its max. So watch where you tread. With lesser the number of humans more is the chance of peace. And here you find it. Find it in the roar of the unassuming sea. You watch the sun, you watch it more. You watch the sea. And you watch it even more. You read the books by its side and you read more. Its more of everything. As if I had never felt the fulfillment. This place you just need to be there. You can’t talk more.

Soon headed back. Back to the abode. Back to the greeting by dogs barking. And the fragrance of Jasmine. The tranquility of Assagaon.

Soon the end of night three. This time ushered in over a glass of whiskey. And the site of an old couple. The gentleman as perfectly poised as one can get and the lady as graceful as one can expect. A lot .. a lot they have to teach even if you just watch them.

Day 3 : As much as one can hear about the beaches in Goa, one seldom hears about the Dudh Sagar falls. So obviously that has to be one of the destinations. The lesser known the place the more chances of it being good. The drive as usual by now you get used being mesmerized with. But once there, its an agonizing wait of about 45 minutes followed by a wonderful drive through the jungle (except for the sweat that’s expected at this time of the year). The drive is followed by the spectacle of the falls .. Only if one is an avid Bollywood fan can one say it’s the realization of a fantasy world. A high fall with a train crossing over it. One can just sit and wonder what all the nature beholds. And the words fail. Not much of words to say either on the way back where we are supposed to halt at the Old Goa Church. Which in itself is a spectacle. Seldom does one come across such grandeur accompanied by such blissful peace. One can just sit in silence and let the moments be absorbed.

Towards the night one reflects back on the days gone by and the day of good bye ahead. The times of joy and the times of silence. And how much this place has on offer. Wouldn’t the few words one can write be inadequate? Off course they would be.

Before one realizes the night is over. And its time to say good bye to all. To our friendly uncle to Joslin .. To Joseph.. To aunt Ida .. Uncle Edwin .. Thank You all.

And Yes.. Its time for me to say bye to my moments of “jyo”. She for that matter wouldn’t take the credit or much as she may dislike it, It wouldn’t have been what it was without her. Beyond that my words would do gross injustice to her. For those who wanna know what I mean can read all that they did above in a much better manner here.

Bebasee kaa shahar

2007-05-09T22:35:00.000+05:30

बेदम बदहवास ज़िन्दगियों का शहर,
कुछ बेबस शरीर,
सुबह चलते हैं दो पैरों पर,
शाम तक कुछ रेंगते, कुछ घिसट ते,
दोहरी क़मर पर कुछ यूं संभलते ही
कुछ तंग कपड़ों में,
तो कुछ तंगहाली में,
हैं तो सब नंगे ही
किसी को एक और जाम की प्यास,
तो किसी को पहली बूँद की आस,
हैं तो सब प्यासे ही
किसी का हो आखरी जवाब,
तो किसी का पहला प्रश्न,
हैं तो सब प्रश्नचिंह ही
कोई सूरज की पहली किरण पर,
तो कोई सूरज की आखरी रौशनी में,
सोये हुये तो अनगिनत हैं ही
कहीं टाट के पैबंद,
तो कहीं मखमल के परदे,
गंदिगी तो सब जगह छुपी है ही
कोई एक पैर पर ट्रेन में,
तो कोई एक सीट पर बस में,
गाय बैल के तरह ठुसे तो सब हैं ही
हैरान हूँ में, परेशां भी,
चाहते क्या हैं सब,
ये जानते नहीं
में कौन सा अलबेला हूँ,
भीड़ में खोया तो हूँ मैं भी

Back to Mumbai

2007-04-26T17:55:00.000+05:30

Nice but a whirlwind affair. How many times am I going to go through the same feeling now?
The reasons may differ but the end seems to be the same each time. Either I return numb wondering if at all I had achieved anything over the trip (be it personal or professional) or with a feeling that why couldn't it last longer. Just that wee bit extra to make it that bit more enjoyable. Greedy? Some may say that the reason that it was delightful was perhaps the fact that it lasted for such a short time. A burst of joy and happiness. Even I say that each place and each person in one's life has a certain time dimension associated. Nothing more nothing less should be spent there or with that person. Arguably some may wish to keep certain relationship out of such kind of a theoretical ideation. But then come to think of it. How much time can you spend at same place or how many hours would you willingly spend with one person in one day? Unless there is that element of uncertainity that how long will that long last you always prefer taking it in bites? You take people for granted. You give more importance to yourself in other's life and less to theirs in ours (as my friend says). So isn't it ironic that while we may long for longer associations we actually remember most of those which have been short but more enjoyable?

So what is that creeps in us which leads to such kind of a dillema? Or is it just me? I wonder .. I wonder coz I see the same expression on so many faces that surround me. As if asking questions about themselves. Their needs expressed in an enigmatic fashion. Trapped in their own illusions they seem to be searching for that elusive mirage that they have built for themselves. They are thirsting and searching for the oasis without knowing that the solace may be in that moment where someone by them has left footprints in the sand. The footprints that may be showing them the direction that they have always wanted to take and yet have not been able to take. So much for the fortitude that they may display in their own capabilities they will not be able to understand eachother's turmoils. The chaos that has a madness but a method to it. The method that is common across. The method that can bind us and the method that can define us.

And yet that self discovery is alien to so many and that method is known to so few. I won't call it enlightenment. But a love for the moment. The moments that make an era. The moments when we may have touched our ownself in quarters unchartered. In quarters where we feared to tread. Quarters where we need no illusions to be with ourselves within our own solitude. Even if it is in someone else's arms...

It may read out as a very convoluted post to many. It is not in defense for it. But those who feel it may find the method in the madness. After all being crazy has its own fun.

A flying experience

2007-04-26T17:48:00.000+05:30

This post was supposed to be posted on 18th April .. but coming today just shows how much time we have been getting... anyways this was on my way to Delhi from Mumbai.

Well I'm on a flight yet again, but for a change this time it is not official. It is a happy occasion that I am going to celebrate in Delhi, that of a marriage of two of my closest friends.

But though the reason of flight may differ what doesn't change is the experience that one may have. This is the first time that I am travelling Spice Jet. A no frills airliner that has already got delayed by around an hour. So much for the punctuality. In addition to that there are these two gentleman sitting right next to me with no intentions of letting me sleep due to which I had to resort to writing this post. With their hands clapping on either of them cracking most amusing sort of jokes (without a hint of joke for me in those words) they are pretty much attentive when any of the petite air hostess approaches. Further, to add to my pleasures of flying, is another gentleman sitting right behind me. He has apparently not been told that there is a button to summon the flight crew in case something is required, so what does he resort to? Snoring off course. With his swan song on, he has obviously been heralded into a dream world which is not in anyway is connected to his fellow passengers. So much for wishing to have a good company in flight.

It is interesting to note however the distinct change in the kind of people I see in this budget airline. The Samsonites and Levis having been replaced by V.I.Ps and Parx or a Numero Uno (yeah its one of the brands which does pretty well in the middle income groups, thanks to its distribution strength, check out their exclusive showrooms in locations like malls in Lucknow's Gomati Nagar). Coming back to my point, how on the one hand these airlines have changed the skyscape of of India and on the other, we are increasingly witnessing a class divide in each aspect of a modern living.

While the rich may go on to afford any levels of expensive services, having crossed the threshold of utilitarian value, this attempt to dive lower in the strata while energizing the economic charge, is also creating a tension in social fabric perhaps. While the dream of equitable growth remains just that, an elusive dream, the aspirational needs are on a high. The need to be distinct and the need to be "progressive" is overtaking the need to live and the need to be content. Obviously the growth oriented may term that as cynical or risk averseness while the puritans may attempt to exacerbate the same into a pseudo-nationalistic cultural protection. Afterall, as a nation we are a nation of extremes perhaps.

So while only time will tell where exactly are we headed, for the time being I'd request these airlines to please use an air freshner at least to save mere mortals like me from the fart machines sitting next to them .. HHHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP

P.S: As a final note, Jet and Sahara are finally getting merged and Jet is planning to have Sahara as a budget platform. Will that mean the death knell of the best food in the skies? I just hope there comes an airline with the food and flight crew of Sahara, ground staff and punctuality of Jet and in-flight entertainment of Kingfisher. Possible?

Perceptibility-Understanding-Insecurity

2007-04-01T18:48:00.001+05:30

In the past few days, one thing that has figured quite a few times in my dialogues with my friends, is being perceptive - the ability to understand a person very fast and be observant. One of my friend told me that I'm perceptive, while the other shredded apart this attribute when self proclaimed. It set me wondering about the three things mentioned in the title- perceptive, understanding, insecurity.

Why the three together? Well somewhere I feel as human emotions, the three are connected. Simply put, a perceptive person understands someone too well to make him/her insecure. Naah ain't that simple right? So lets look at each of them individually first

per·cep·tive
–adjective
having or showing keenness of insight, understanding, or intuition

I doubt if there would be people who'd not wish to associate this adjective with themselves. And yet there would be very few who would perhaps understand the real truth behind it. What exactly do we mean by being perceptive? Don't we confuse understanding with being perceptive? Isn't it just a need to be acclaimed as someone knowledgeable who can read between lines or see through the things? Is it just a chicken or egg kind of situation - which came first .. perceptiveness or understanding? Is it just the more and more of understanding about more and more people that makes us perceptive? Or is it trial and error of perceptiveness being proved right or wrong basis the experience? Too many questions .. Isn't it? And as usual too few answers.

un·der·stand
–verb (used with object)
to perceive the meaning of; grasp the idea of; comprehend:

Ah .. perceive the meaning of .. So perception comes first doesn't it? Then what's so special about being understanding? Ok for a change lets not make it a question. Its just a need to find our own stereotype images that we have built and the images that we need to prove our perceptions right. We understand and then we judge. Perfect recipe for pain. We judge and we are right so we hurt. We judge and we are wrong, so we get hurt.

in·se·cu·ri·ty
–noun, plural -ties.
lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt

One illness that has no cure. No one can do a bit about it but oneself. Others can only comfort you in the fact that we shouldn't be judging ourselves. And yet this disease inflicts all of us. In one manner or the other all of us are a victim to it. But some overcome it and most don't. The same gets expressed as the vlunerability or fear in one form or other.

So what is the point that I'm heading to? Lets get back to the core of the co-relation between the three. The chain begins where we feel the need to be understood. The much celebrated foundation of relationship. And to be understood we celebrate the presence of perceptiveness. We are drawn to such people who hold this quality in the hope that they would satiate our hunger to be understood. Yet so often when this quality is overbearing we start feeling threatened, insecure. The fear of being revealed more than we wish to. Lets face it, when we say we want to be understood we are referring only to the part that we wish to reveal. We still wish to keep a part as mystery within ourselves. No one wants to be naked.

Thus, the vicious cycle, of finding someone perceptive, being understood and being understood beyond the comfort levels to land up being insecure.

So what's the alternate? Where do we end up screwing? Is it the fallacy that attraction is presumed to be in the invisible. Or is it that we hate the power of observation because we may lack it ourselves? On this two quotes
"The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible."
-Oscar Wilde
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."
-George Bernard Shaw

What's the conclusion then? I believe till the time perceptiveness is overrated and celebrated, for those who have it, it will be a curse. And those who don't have it, it will be a fatal attraction. The only escape is the drive to discover ourselves, both through our own eyes and through others as well. Because if we discover ourselves we'd not be surprised by perceptiveness and we would inhibit our own insecurities as well.

To end on that note:
"It is cruel to discover one's mediocrity only when it is too late."
- W. Somerset Maugham

A non-mumbaikar's guide to "Locals"

2007-04-01T18:42:00.000+05:30

This post was long overdue and I had decided to post it on the day when I get rid of my daily 1 hour travel to the office in Mumbai. The travel part has ended thankfully but I couldn't post it as I was packed off to Pune.

Over the period of 10 months that I was forced to make believe that one has to actually enjoy Mumbai locals as there are no better options than that I just noted down a few finer points. Obviously ones who have tasted it, may be knowing it but just in case someone new can make use of it.. who knows? My experience stems out of daily travel from Vashi to Mumbai CST (formerly VT) and part travel on Churchgate to Andheri. So here are a few notes out of my travel diary on Mumbai Local

Western Line starting from Churchgate is the worst of the lot, followed by the central line and then the harbour line (on which i've survived for 10 months).
If your monthly income allows you to spend around 400-600 Rs extra without burning a hole in your pocket you can cut down around 25% of your woos by travelling in 1st Class. However in the hours that matter this may prove to be ineffective.

Now for a few tips:
Getting In ...
There can be two situations for this:
Situation One- The train is starting from the station where you are boarding it. In
such a case you are advised to know the time when that train actually comes into the station and make sure that you arrive before that time. Identify the side which people use to get in. And if you are a good athlete you better be well trained to acclimatize yourself to the speed with which the train enters the station. Also know the spot where the your
compartment/gate is likely to come. For first class choose the larger compartment's second gate as that's usually the lesser mobbed one. And since most of the people lack common sense they will go right from that gate towards more number of seats while you can buck the trend and hit left towards smaller block. If you don't get a seat also, wait as there might be some gentleman who'd be waiting to get down.

Caution: If anyone falls in this wrestling match, don't try to show your chivalry by trying to pick him up as you may actually pile up his agony by falling flat on him and be rained down by footsteps.

Situation Two: The train doesn't start at your station. If its the rush hour and you badly need a seat. You better go in the opposite direction to a station from where the train starts and get in. Else you just need carry a lot of weight and power in your arms to push and shove people.

All this to just get in .. Pray to almighty that you get a seat because despite all the planning and agility you may still end up without a seat and may have to spend the rest of the time standing.

In transit ...
If you travel regularly during the travel and you get a seat, be courteous to give your seat to someone who also travels regularly. Someday they may return the gesture and you may even make some good friends.

If you are standing be aware of where you are standing coz if you are blocking the exit route you may get to hear the choicest of abuses which may just make your day.

Don't let anyone get into the area between the two rows of seats, that's their most convenient way of blocking your chance of getting a seat in case someone is getting up.

If you haven't got much into the compartment, the best place to stand is next to the door with the support of the bar and back resting against the rear of the seats. And once you are packed (this can actually defy the logic of space constraint in terms of how many objects can be packed in a give space) do not try to shuffle of move. Learn to be a statue. Be ready to enjoy various kinds of odor. And keep feeling for your pocket to ensure your wallet is where its meant to be.
Please do not.. i repeat DO NOT stand near exit point or a queue that's not meant for you.
If you do that you can be assured of being thrown out of the train at a station that is not meant for you.

Getting Out...

If you are travelling in the opposite direction of regular traffic of the train (e.g coming to Churchgate/VT in the evenings) you better not stand at the gate of the train. Else before you realise you will be assumed as a punching bag and knocked out in no time. In such a situation hold on to the bar next to the gate with your face towards the seats. This way maximum damage will only be to your ass.

Make sure that in a crowded train you get up at least one station before the one that you intend to get out.

If you are struggling how to get out, just make sure you are in the queue of ppl who need to get out. Rest everyone else will do to ensure you are out of the train.

General :

As far as possible don't even risk taking a train that goes too far a distance beyond your station. On western line, unless you have to go to Borivali or Virar, don't even think of taking a fast in the rush hours. You'll never get down.

Remember the dates of your monthly pass. The TTEs have a knack of catching you at the worst possible time.

Keep an eye on any suspicious objects/humans ..

FM can be one of the better partners in such journeys. Recommended channel : FM Rainbow between 7-10 in the morning. FM gold between 5-8 in the evening.

Finally if you are not tired of this post already, don't forget to thank god if you survive one more day in the locals. On an average around 3000 people die every year in one or the other accidents involving Mumbai Locals.
And yes to its credit, each day could make you come across a new kind of character enriching your life with a different experience...

Pune Visit

2007-04-01T18:40:00.000+05:30

1st April, Not a fool's day at all for me at least coz I'm returning back to Mumbai after excruciating 10 days in Pune. So much so for having a good time here, I ended up working from 10AM to 2AM every day without fail including the much celebrated Sundays. But in a way the amount of work I did and the learnings I had, it offsets all the discomfort that I might have faced. Soon I may actually be called Key Account Manager (loading unloading trucks) in fact.

This city has supposedly the best climate after Bangalore. Not true if you were to take my experience as the test sample. Obviously it may be too small a sample for statistical significance but for me that's the only one. And 10 days with temperature hovering between 38-40 degrees certainly doesn't make your work at a distribution centre easy. But yes this city does seem to come alive on a weekend as I realised last night.

Some of the highlights and the lessons from it in the last 10 days.

Lesson one: Sexually starved perverts can be your worst nightmare as colleagues. Stay as far as you can from them.
Lesson two: If there are any dependencies in your work make sure you either put them in place or cut them short.
Lesson three: Whenever things are not happening and you are skeptical if at all they'll happen, term that as "Work in Progress" and say that you are trying instead of owning up the responsibility.
Lesson four: Unhealthy competition sucks but its prevelant everywhere.
Lesson five: Take the gatekeepers into confidence and your work will flow smoothly.
Lesson Six ... Last but not the least ..its not a lesson but reaffirmation of what I seriously believe .. One can find most incompetent people at the most important of chairs!
And thus, most of the companies succeed not because they have the best of the people, but perhaps because the others have the dumbest of them.
So end my ten days in Pune. I don't know how I survived without net, without sleep, without books, without music, with only me and the work. But I did. Hope I don't have to give another survival test.

Me and My Solitude

2007-03-09T16:48:00.000+05:30

This is the first of my post on some of the photographs/collages that I have taken/made. Hope I'll be able to make it regular and do justice to them as well. This first one is a collage and adorns my desktop as well as the blog :).

I have tried to capture my fascination for silence and loneliness in this. Capturing the elements and entwine them to display the charm of silence. To take you through the genesis of the three shots, two of them are from Lakshadweep and one from an on campus party.

The Essence: The background is fire. The fire of our emotions and the fire of our imagination that we can never escape from. Perhaps I should use the word "illusion" instead of imagination but that may differ from perceptions. So in this heat of imagination/emotions the search is for peace. The life is an ocean as it carries ahead into the next shot .. In the darkness somewhere, under the dim light of knowledge, which may be clouded by the atmosphere, there is this urge in my belly to take that boat and head for the unchartered territories. Distant and yet so alluring. And so I take the waters, learning unlearning how to find my way through the choppy waters and the light of my knowledge increasing. I reach the stage of bright sunlight. And I take rest, stopping at a beach where the water is shining in all its glory with different colours. I see two empty chairs, inviting .. to relax and reflect on the journey I've just covered. With an additional one for someone so invisible and yet longed for with whom I could share what I've just gone through. But there is only silence and the gentle humming of the waves. Sometimes they raise in crescendo to ask why have I stopped? But i'm still wondering.. Or am I waiting for someone to come and sit beside me on the next chair .. Or am I still charmed by my solitude ..In the meanwhile, the day starts falling.. The light is growing dim again .. I feel scared .. my knowledge is stagnating .. Something else is calling .. to be discovered .. And I grow restless .. Is this my destiny or the call of the wild. I am confused .. I am the contrarian torn apart .. I am ..
.. a confused question mark??

Nishabd .. Literally Speechless ..

2007-03-08T17:13:00.000+05:30

Null Hypothesis: RGV needs to take a break
Statistical Evidence: Road .. "Darrrrrr"naaaaa manaaa hai .. James phew .. Nishabd
Confidence Level: 100%
Conclusion : Null Hypothesis holds true

In case you have started wondering what am I talking about, the whole idea is to illustrate the point that how does one feel when something turns out to be how its not supposed to. So if you read a review/critique like the one above how would you reckon me as? Dumb right? Now imagine how would you describe a person who takes the best of ingredients and serves the worst of dishes? Plane dumb right? That is how I felt when I came out of the theatre after watching Nishabd. Literally at loss of words, wondering why the hell did I chose this movie to cap my wonderful weekend (we had decided to maximize the utility of whatever time remained after our trip to Nasik).

The movie is a classic example of how one can make a hash of a good subject. Whether its due to the doubt of Indian audience's palatibility or a lack of understanding on his own part, RGV just doesn't get it right. Off course the movie has its brilliant moments, from cinematographic viewpoint and Big B's acting (esp during his hysterical laugh scene). But such moments are just few. Nothing to write home about. If the inclusion of Jiah Khan was to give it a touch of skin flick, well for one she ain't sexy at all and two she can't act !! Plain dead pan expression being worn through out, she looks like a dumb doll !! The rest of the cast is just lost and you don't know what they are doing. So by the time you wake up from the sleep the movie is over and you haven't even heard the song so beautifully sung.

To summarise, we used to hear a story when we were kids "Ek tha raja, ek thi rani, dono mar gaye khatam kahani" and this one goes like "ek tha buddha, ek thi ladki, ladki bhaag gayi, budhha mara nahi".

On a final note:

Null Hypothesis 2: Is RGV a type two error ?
Statistics: Whomsoever reads this, give it to me
Conclusion: Inconclusive

P.S: Puritans of statistics/Engineers/MBA's don't fret over the liberal use of statistical terminology.

The Trip To Vineyard

2007-03-08T13:24:00.000+05:30

The times are good the times are strange. This weekend added another chapter to the interesting times I have been having amidst the heavy workload at the office. The fact that this post is coming after a gap is because of too busy a schedule that I have been having off late. Nonetheless this is not a crib post but one on the way that I celebrated Holi.

We (me and couple of my closest friends from Hel(L)) had been deliberating upon a way to spend the weekend (finally I had one thanks to the "Holi"day on sat). Having ruled out Kashid for certain reasons, we settled on a trip to vineyard in Nasik. Working in a beverages team obviously has its advantage, so courtesy a colleague of mine, everything was fixed in a jiffy and lo we were on our way to Nasik on a sunny afternoon from Mumbai. Two assholes and two ladies with the intentions of making merry (no need for any wild imagination here :D). My friend, with his new car was driving it with care (being a kind of first drive on Highway for him). Mumbai was also to add to our delay with its traffic and it took us more than an hour to get outta it.

Anyways soon on course through bumpy roads (who calls it a Highway I dunno) we enjoyed the drive despite all efforts of Sun to give us a beating. We had the intentions of witnessing the sunset with a glass of wine but given the delay we finally reached at around 8 only to the Sula vineyard. There the contact, we had to touch base with, first took us through the operations of winery. With lotsa fundas he made the time count and we surely gathered some knowledge.

Soon it was time that we had been waiting for and we headed for the wine tasting. The person took us through it tastefully (literally). So till date what was just a casual understanding of tastes became a little more than that, with some light thrown on the nuances of wines and their characteristics. From dryness to sweetness, to "legs" of wine and the fermentation temperature etc we did gain quite a bit of stuff (not to say that we are already experts!!).

Having taken some amount during tasting itself we finally settled down to go on a binge. And soon the blabber of words was suggesting that we were splurging. And tastefully so. Bottles and pints were soon empty. With a heady feeling (the women experiencing it more ;) ) we finally headed back after draining a good amount. Most of us being totally sloshed there was quite a bit of concern on part of ladies about who'd be driving. In the end despite me being most sober, I didn't get a chance to drive :D . But yes I became a witness to most interesting of conversations :) (no details on this :) )

Day 2, we woke up late despite having made plans last night to have breakfast at Taj. As usual we gave up the idea and decided to have a light one at the place we were staying. Soon we headed back to Sula for another dive into the divine world of wines (oops .. did I make it sound poetic ?? ). Anyways back at the Sula tasting room we made merry. Its a beautiful place very tastefully done. So to add pleasure to your tasting buds it adds pleasure to the visual taste buds as well. Overlooking a vineyard one can see a beautiful lake a little ahead as well. The interiors have been done with heart put in it and is a visual delight. All said and done we were soon back to business of another drinking session. This time a bit less though as we had to head back.

Soon with a heavy heart (its becoming so common after each trip of mine) we headed back, with sun not that angry this time. We criss crossed the ghats with some brilliant display of glory of sun in orange light.. The air this time being much more cooler we reached in lesser time back to the ghettos of Mumbai.

To summarise, it was a great/different way of celebrating Holi and helped me get back to the groove of loving wines.

Last King of Scotland

2007-03-08T13:17:00.000+05:30

Three things that West can't do without:
1) War
2) Paranoia
3) A white man's burden to prove he's carrying the world ahead

With much hopes we went for the movie .. High Hopes indeed with Whitaker getting the Oscar .. And we came back singing a dud tune. With a series of good movies last year esp on Africa/racism (Crash, Hotel Rwanda, Blood Diamonds) we were expecting another good flick. But maybe that expectation itself turned out to be too much for asking. Based on the life and times of Idi Amin, the movie does hold well for most part of its running but then it doesn't appeal either as a cinematically sound work or a metaphorical expression. Visually it depicts the story pretty well perhaps. But where it lacks in is the purpose. The director seems to be clueless about the purpose for which he's made the movie: Whether it is to entertain, or remind us about the past or a plain simple political statement. I haven't read too much of Amin's history but the movie is not entirely about that either. Its more of a person story/biography than anything more. And even in this effort it disappoints badly.

Another point that hits you directly is the Oscar for Whitaker. Certainly not for god sake! Its def not an Oscar winning performance. Is it the phenomenon of Counter Racism that we are witnessing? Did the academy succumb to the pressure of "anti-racism" to deny D'Caprio of what would have been thoroughly deserving act in The Departed? I don't know. Its for everyone to see. All I can say about the movie is see only if you have nothing else to do. Else you may skip the story of a guy who's willing to have sex at the drop of a hat.

P.S: Oh Ms Anderson, how old you look in the movie. If only you could continue to look the way you did in X-Files.

The Movie Binge

2007-02-28T12:18:00.000+05:30

Three Days. Three movies (two in a day). Three experiences. Each one a different one. And each with a moral. So here is the account of those.

It started off with "Eklavya - The Royal Guard". A friend of mine called up and asked if I'd join. I was too busy in work to think and answer, so confirmed it. Only to realise a few hours a later what big mistake I had committed.

The gruelling hours started at 11. And within next ten minutes the enormity of a blunder (and not just mistake) was sinking in. What started as a beautiful scenic location soon degenerated into a mindless journey with no intentions to present a cinema worth watching. I wonder if Vidhu Vinod Chopra realised that much later and to recover the money went into publicity gimmicks like presenting Big B with a Rolls.

There is nothing much to write about the movie. Just write it off. No story. No music. No acting (why did all of them waste themselves in such a stupid affair!). No direction. All and all a BIG NO. And to add to our woes we being we (i.e me and my friend), much to the embarassment of the ladies with us, ended up giggling and commenting on the movie. So much so that an adjacent audience got pissed with us. So for next (I don't know how many minutes) we were straining our cords to whisper and holding our stomachs, having been denied to laugh :(.

Moral of the story : Do learn from independent reviews and if at all you still have to commit a mistake, do it in front stall where you can vent out all you want to without being told not to.

Next one on a bright Sunday afternoon was Black Friday. We decided to go for a back to back affair and this one was the first of the two. I had seen the movie earlier (the black market version) on a CD where the video and audio were completely out of sync. And anyways as anticipated it turned out to be an affair worth watching at any cost. The fact that it had been prevented from hitting the screen for so long added to its value perhaps but it was a very well made movie.

Both as a cinematic creation as well as the intention behind it, the movie scores in almost all the accounts. Though I feel the editing could have been a little better. Specially a little before the interval the movie slackens a bit, but suitably recovers after that.

The acting is great as expected from the people with theatre background. KK and Pawan Malhotra stand out. I believe for Pawan, its his one of the best performances since the times of "Nukkad" and "Salim langde pe mat ro". KK looks amazingly restrained and yet so emotive in his role. The others too have done justice to all the roles they played. The eye for details is also visible and the sequence of events is presented in a matter of fact way without any intention of being judgmental. It hits you hard where it should in your face and yet at others it displays a poignant array of emotions. Finally it ends leaving you disturbed/numb/agitated etc depending on your line of thought. But whatever be it, the impact is there. All due credit to Anurag Kashyap. Take a bow.

Moral of the story : Good cinema can't be chained and will make the impact whatever the gags on it may wish to do. To learn from the history is simplest and yet most forgotten lesson.

After the heavy impact of Black Friday the obvious choice for the next one had to be a light one. So we decided on Honeymoon Travel's Private Ltd.

If I were to sum it up, it wasn't a great affair but a "TP" (Time Pass) movie. It has its moments of fun where you'll end up having a hearty laugh and it has moments where you would just be yawning. At the onset, I don't think the movie was made with a story in mind. So the screenplay also turns out to be week. But it starts off on a funny note and carries it a little ahead. It brings out some cliched views and also deals with a few not so highlighted ones with subtlety. As they say that debutante's movie is sure to deal with sex and liberty, so does this one.

However nothing radical to write home about. From the angle of acting everyone's done a commendable job except for Amisha Patel. It might be a prejudice against her but I just can't stand her screeching hyperdramatic skill set. Minisha Lamba and Abhay deol seem a sort of misfit as a story and the imagination is being stretched a bit too far. See the movie to know it. So all said and done if you are looking at 2 hrs of TP, its ok. Otherwise you may just pass it.

Moral of the Story: A few laughs don't need a very good script. "Next" time you decide to go on a honeymoon with so many other people. Think twice. Pun intended :).

Birthday Morning Blues

2007-02-20T19:14:00.000+05:30

Though the title seems self explanatory. I know like so many other things I need to explain this to myself more than to others. It was just like another day. Nothing special about it. I woke up on another 16th of Feb with fond memories of the previous night that I spent in the company of my friends at Hard Rock Cafe. But beyond that it suddenly struck me that

1) I'm older by another year.
2) I'm the only one amongst my college friends (in India) who is single !!
3) I ain't earning enough to survive a month without Credit Card ..
4) My whole family is after me to get married !!
5) I'm working six days a week with very less time for myself !!

And it was so tough to get up and go to the office. Finally I had to counter the 5 negatives above with 5 positives to gather up strength to go to office (on a b'day yeah). And what were those 5 point something for me ?

1) I'm wiser by another year (yeah you know I'm stupid)
2) I'm single ok, but I am also unmarried happily !!
3) I at least have a few credit cards to survive :D
4) I'm happily away from the groom hunters ...
5) I'm not lonely for six days of the week and I am reading and writing as happily as ever

So here I am.. Heading into another year of my life. With lots of hopes, desire and an intention to fulfill them. So wish me luck whomsoever reads this :)

Cheers to me ...

Cinema under siege

2007-02-07T15:35:00.000+05:30

I know much has been said about this issue with people on either side of the fence/glass calling each other names in the name of holding their line right. However I couldn't resist because the issue seems to be in a limelight again. I would refrain from commenting upon what much bigger names have already spoken about. But lets take a few examples to put things in a perspective first

1) Black Friday is getting released after a wait of years due to the "sensitive" topic it covered (or the matter of fact way it showed the real life incidents)
2) Parzania, despite being cleared from censors is still struggling to get the approval from "local censors" (It needs clearance from the local Bajrang Dal leader to be released in Gujarat)

What does it reflect? Reflection upon us as a state and as a society. While we progress economically where are we headed socially? What is the new social fabric that we are weaving and what are the prints that we are leaving on it?

These are some questions that keep disturbing me in the current scenario. It disturbs me to note that perhaps we as a nation are growing increasingly intolerant. Intolerant towards a thought process that strives to bring us face to face with reality. In the beauty of our dreams we are so engrossed that any attempt to jolt us into reality becomes nothing less than a crime. As time and again we have failed to learn from history, it revisits us to tell us the fact that how scared we are to look into the darker truths.

There is nothing wrong in it perhaps. Human nature by instinct is to deny the truth when its ugly. Noone after all feels comfortable if the mirror shows us naked. Serious cinema, unfortunately serves that precise purpose. Occasionally when an artist (read filmmaker) feels disturbed he comes up with an expression to remind us of what we might not recall in daily chores. And therein lies its "crime". And so it has to face the consequences like these.

Have we become paranoid or is it just that our confidence in our own sensibilities is so low that we can't be sure of our own reactions? Have we ceased to discern between a cinematic expression and a threat to peace?

History tells us that greater heights were reached by the nations who didn't hesitate to look into the eyes of their own mistakes. Because they learned from them and didn't commit them again. They didn't put their head in sand like Ostrich. They progressed because of freedom of thought and action not despite it.

Another thing that actually worries me on this is the failure of state machinery to let the order of law prevail. I mean, what is the requirement of censor if you have to send out a message that there is another almighty who reserves the right to let your expression reach the masses. So much for freedom of expression.

Still, all is not lost. The fact that tomorrow will not actually be Black Friday. It will after all get the rightful place it deserved. Anand patwardhan's documentaries have finally been shown on DD. So in those shimmering lights of hope I still dream of a nation which will actually be sensible enough to understand all the sensibilities and let them be expressed.

To cut it short I would end with this ..

The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not sufficient warrant.
-- John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

Why I prefer AIR over other FM channels?

2007-02-07T10:58:00.000+05:30

If you are in Mumbai and you travel by a local, FM is something you would really admire like a good friend. Without it the journey could be so excruciating that you may end up thinking twice for going to the office. However, having spent so much time travelling all these days I've come to one conclusion at least .. That nothing beats AIR.. The reasons well they are galore. And since it would be ridiculous to count them, instead of saying "n Reasons why I love AIR", here they are as a matter of fact.

1) Instead of just claiming "Only Music" it actually plays music
2) It doesn't play "Beedi jalaai le.." (Omkara) after "Hips don't lie .." (Shakira)
3) Fortunately or unfortunately it doesn't get ads to bug
4) Instead of just screaming "Bajaate Raho" it actually bajaos for at least 50 mts in an hr
5) It doesn't bore you with BIG words of astrology early in morning
6) Despite being best in content it doesn't waste ONE bit of time in going ga ga over some star's birthday
7) And while you may miss some "Mirchi" in areas here, you can always trust the signal of AIR to reach unthinkable of places

In case you are still wondering where to get lost in "City main kho jaao.." you can always switch to either Gold or Rainbow to drown in some genre of music. You'll not be disappointed. Besides you will not be tormented by people who fail to understand the lines between being enthusiastic and shouting, because the RJs here KNOW their music. And they know what pleases the ear most.

If you still have any doubts, in last three days, I've listened to a program on best of ghazals, a 1.5 hr special on Floyd, a dedicated session to Classics and Country, O P Nayyar's haunting music and yes they keep dabbling it with new peppy numbers as well. Take that ...

Me and My Blog

2007-02-05T17:49:00.000+05:30

Today someone asked me how have people reacted to my blog? And I was clueless. It actually suddenly struck me somewhere and I had to go back to the root of my blog. What's the purpose of it? I write to express and I write to understand. I write and I read. I read and I rewrite. And yet somethings are there which will never come across in my reading of my own writing. That is where it becomes so critical to solicit critcism. So the people who matter have to pitch in. And yet I am still to receive any criticism so far. Apart from being told that I wrote just for the heck of it, I am yet to get a peep into myself from the eyes of a reader of my blog. Does that mean that there is a lack of clarity in my writing? Or is it just that I am asking the wrong question? I don't know. Maybe its just not meant to be the way it is. Or it is just meant to be the way I wish it to be. Again the mystery lies in what I can see but I can't comprehend. Till then, I'll use the excuse that I write to just express myself. Beyond that I can't see. I'm a blind man .. I'm a blind man ..

If you're leaving close the door.
I'm not expecting people anymore.

Hear me grieving, I'm lying on the floor.
Whether I'm drunk or dead I really ain't too sure.

I'm a blind man
I'm a blind man and my world is pale.
When a blind man cries
Lord, you know there ain't no sadder tale.

Had a friend once in a room,
had a good time but it ended much too soon.

In a cold month in that room
we found a reason for the things we had to do.

I'm a blind man
I'm a blind man, now my room is cold.
When a blind man cries
Lord, you know he feels it from his soul.

I'm a blind man
I'm a blind man, now my room is cold.
When a blind man cries
Lord, you know he feels it from his soul.

-- Deep Purple

What am I doing ?

2007-02-05T16:23:00.000+05:30

Here I am back again. Its been quite a hectic period. It just seems like yesterday when it was 19th of January when I was looking ahead to go to the campus. And today is 5th of February and I've already been to Lucknow,Chennai and Delhi. Time has been progressing at a breakneck speed. My friends are getting married left right and centre. Infact, in India its only me who's left from my college gang. In all this melee if I sit for two minutes I wonder where's the time I used to have for myself. It strikes me how often do I feel like just crashing on the bed with a book in my hand and finishing it in one go. How sometimes I just desire to sit by the sea side and watch the sun go down. How often I feel like just having a glass of wine set to the tunes of ghazals or some metal set to the backdrop of Coldplay. And this "how often" just keeps piling up. Its like seeking salvation. Salvation from the crime of depriving myself of all pleasures that seem so essential. And then suddenly I come back to reality. Or is it an illusion? Illusion that the magnanimous crowd seem to have built around eachone of us. Where what seems right is not the truth and what is the truth seems an illusion. Is that what Oscar Wilde meant when he said "Illusion is the first of all pleasures?". Mystery after all is not in the invisible. But in the visible that we can't seem to understand.

Boo hooo ....

2007-01-23T09:18:00.000+05:30

23rd January 2007. 7:15 A.M and where am I? In a god forsaken place called Chennai and my abode is the office. Phew. In case you are wondering what am I doing in the office at this hour, just for your information I'm working with Reliance Retail and we are rolling stores at a breakneck speed.
Welcome to Chennai: The moment I landed in Chennai yesterday it brought back the memories of my previous visits to this city (3 Months in 2002 and 2 Days of hell in May 2003). Come out of the aircraft and hits you like an inferno. Hot, hotter and hottest is what they say are the seasons of Chennai, while you can add a few more additives like humidity. And then the eternal sunshine of a baseless mind of the Autowallahs here. No matter what one says, the crown of most notorious autowallahs would surely go to Chennai, followed by Delhi maybe? I mean you just can't get through them. You can only be saved if you have a Tamil shouting (not speaking alone) friend with you. Else, the latest I hear is that they have even become the costliest affair officially. Though a drive would be started on 26th to make them follow the meter, I wonder how much success authorities will achieve. Anyways, in some cases, like this one, life's like that. Take it or leave it. So much for being a metro, this city is facing a crisis in terms of availability of rooms in hotels. Apparently 3-4 major events happening simultaneously has put the infrastructure to test.

Memoirs of Chennai: Despite all that it is, some memories of Chennai are indeed sweet. As a total stranger I landed up at my friend's place here in 2002 to join a firm. And from there on the moments were like beads of pearls coming together in the string of life like a necklace. From the first experience of bathing with hot water (unwillingly coz apparently all people in Chennai prefer bathing with hot water and my friend's mom had made similar arrangement for me) to the marriage that I attended in May 2003 which made me realise how powerful can the sun be in company of humidity while the agony is compounded in absence of power and water. To avoid going into loops I'd like to highlight a few points about this city (esp if you are a North Indian)
1) It will be tough for you to find a house here. You will be bombarded with questions like
a) Are you a Brahmin?
b) Are you a non-vegetarian?
c) Do you smoke/drink? etc etc
2) Then if you pass the test you may be unlucky enough to land up in a house where the landlord will be so psyched about his daughter and her "security" from North Indian bachelors (read : "rascals") that he'll come up to you with stubs of Wills while all this while your friends may just have been having Gold Flake
3) At places you may find the Naan to be cheaper then rotis (which may be as big as a disk if not larger)
4) Very few places will have eating joints open after 10:30 so you may be well advised to eat in time, sleep in time and be ready to be woken up early in time by the music of some or the other temple (there would surely be at least 5 in each square km here). So whether you wish or not early to rise will happen ensuring that you have no option of late to bed also
5) Autowallahs
a) Whatever the auto-wallah quotes as the amount, jus half it to start the negotiation
b) Be precise about the location else if you differ even by a few degrees the amount charged would be much higher despite the fact that you may have travelled less distance
c) Their gesture of Yes would be right-left-right movement of neck while that of no would be up-down-up
6) If you want to have some respite from the heat, Beasant Nagar beach is the place to be. Awesome place to have the company of sea. Don't try Marina, its the largest open-air toilet in the world

Having come to Chennai I realised how some of my friends were and you also realise the value of the local attire. Else you may just end up scratching all over.

Just like everything else even this city has a lot to offer. A lot of good as well. If you know the people here and they get to trust you, they are so warm that you will be overwhelmed. They are so hard working that you would be inspired. Sincerity and the thrust on education is visible. And its more of an education here than just literacy. So it gave a lot to me as well. Some of the warmest moments with my friend's family. Will always be indebted to them. God only knows how i'd have survived here without them. The awesome rasam and dosas at aunty's place are yet to be dethroned as the best one's that i've had.
The Landmark book store, more so the Nungambakkam one. The ownership has passed to Emami I heard. Spencer's where you could just while away in AC to avoid heat. Some great rock scene and the passion of quizzing. How can I not mention good old "The Hindu" that still remains a newspaper amidst the transformations to tabloid culture. That reminds me of the culture. Though it may look like orthodoxy, but religion is a part of the culture here. Its a way of life and brings peace. Whatever you may call it but it does impact this city, and for the good perhaps.
For all the goodness in this city, i found some of my very good friends here. Thanks to i-flex, I had some great colleagues and friends who are still very much a part of my life. And just as I value any place which gives me such wealth, Chennai also ranks high (though I do wonder how much of it is got to do with the city itself).

So this is the story of Chennai in my life. Lets see how the next few days pass by.

Nostalgia

2007-01-23T09:12:00.000+05:30

I dedicate this post to all the people who touched my life at IIM-Lucknow and are an integral part of my life now.

I came back from a visit to campus. And just as I had expected it the two days on campus turned out to be memorable ones. Though Sahara Airlines turned a spoil sport, stealing a night from us, we managed to have the fun.

We landed on campus at around 12 on 20th and from thereon it was a party all the way. Hitting the nescafe straight we started our usual timepass there. It seemed that time had stood still. Just yesterday we were here, we all felt. Nothing had changed much, except for Guptaji graduating from a cigarette vendor to a juice vendor as well. Change for the good.
As I had expected it turned out, more than Manfest it was a pgp20 alumni meet. Meeting so many batchmates obviously was a treat. Soon enough like our true masti style we were travelling in a transport vehicle to go to Cellars (our fav eating joint in the City). The open air ride was too much to enjoy. However Cellars itself was a bit of a let down with food quality having gone down. But what hasn't changed is the 20% discount that you can avail as IIM-L students (even if you carry an ID card that expired 9 months back).

Soon we were back on campus, in anticipation of Indian Ocean who were supposed to perform at pro-nite and the party that we intended to have on our own. Manfest let us down by not having a party on saturday on a silly pretext of participation on Sunday so we had to manage on our own. Bull Shit. Pgp21 is just hopeless when it comes to partying. I just hope pgp22s are better. Anyways, the evening turned out to be great. First, courtsey Indian Ocean. They were as usual brilliant. This being my third concert of theirs, it just seemed as good as ever. Rahul, Sushmit and Amit were mind-blowing. The whole crowd enjoyed it but it ended too soon at 11. It was followed by ThemClones who disappointed in comparison to their reputation. The rendition of Roadhouse Blues and Yellow was too bad to even think. Thankfully we made ourselves scarce and headed for our party at Titanic. Soon we were in the groove, besides the bonfire enjoying ourselves to the hilt. Once in a mood we sang songs, chatted non-sense, reminisced about the old days, bitched about the profs and well, simply enjoyed. Even before we realised it was 4 when I headed back, thanks to my ill health and then everyone crashed at around 5.

To enjoy the morning sun I was soon up (sooner then others) and back to my Yapping at Nescafe while eating Maggi. That used to be our usual routine. After everyone woke up we whiled away the time at Fauji dhaba idling in the sun and shifting our chairs along with sun travelling in the sky. Towards the evening I ended up judging an event for Prism (the marketing cell of which I was a part and to which I owe a lot of my learning apart from some very good friends). It was funny to be on the other side of the table. Thankfully the decision making wasn't tough. And prismiites have indeed done a good job with PRiSMag and Drishtant (marketing journal). Kudos people. Keep it up.
Before we realised it was time to head back but as usual not without a bit of a drama when instead of a Van an Indica turned up as cab. 6 of us ended up travelling in Indica. The journey back in flight was more silent. Maybe we all just wanted to absorb the brief moments of joy we had had. Missing the campus is indeed nothing strange and yet it is special in every possible way that it can be. Missing friends is even more so.

It just reminded me of my very first days on campus when I used to debate with a few close friends of mine who weren't liking IIM-L for various reasons. I was sure I was going to miss it after two years and they differed. But times have changed and they do miss it as much as I do. I'm not scoring a point here. All i'm trying to highlight is the special place that IIM-Lucknow is. For what it is and for what friends we became there. Each person taught something, learned something and ended up missing quite a few things. That's the beauty of it. And I hope IIM-L preserves it.

Ever hopeful... Campus my lovely campus ..

The rise and fall of Media

2007-01-18T17:07:00.000+05:30

NEWS: North East West South, that was the acronym my father used to tell me. An assortment of details relating to events happening around the world. But the more I watch television today the more confused, angry and dejected I get.
Consider a few examples :
i) A kid falls in a well and we get live coverage for next 48 hours non-stop. A family's misery becomes a pop-corn saga.
ii) Nithari killings. Apathy of administration and the potential masala element create another phenomenon.
iii) A non-singer Mika, kisses an item number girl and we get live telecast of their "negotiations" to make up
iv) Priyadarshini Mattoo/Jessica Lal case. Justice is delivered and media pressure is appreciable.
v) Nitish Katara, a non-entity and justice denied, no media to follow vigorously.

I could go on but I hope I'm illustrating the point. Come to think of it, there were days when the likes of Prannoy Roy would be waited for in the program like World This Week. While DD news was a matter of fact- take it or leave it types, Aaj Tak emerged on the horizon; first as a classic program, then as a good channel.
However the good times were short lived. The explosion of cable news channels saw a downfall so rapid that even NDTV, which was highly regarded initially also falling to the whims and fancies. The "buyable" (as i call it) media became a true commodity. What alarms me more is the speed of this decline. Some people may argue that the fourth estate or the pillar of democracy has come to wield a power that few envisaged. The others may argue that like other developed markets even India is witnessing an evolution in media though at a rapid pace. But while first one is like witnessing only one side of the coin the second one is a lame one on account of the fact that who as asked us to emulate the model that west followed?

What is it exactly? Was it the advent of Star News that triggered it? Is it globalization again? Is it us? Reason why I can't figure out one cause could be the fact that it may be a combination of all these. But when we look closely we see a few things that I would like to mention specifically

English Media Vs Hindi/Vernacular Media: If we look at the two we see a marked difference. The vernacular print entities are trying to go local with area specific non-events being their star "items" in programming. The hindi news channels are trying to reap in on the spent up emotions of stressed individuals esp of the middle class and the emerging burgeoise which is coming out of the shadows. The exposure to this "consumption" driven economic world is making the media a part of the shopping basket. The English media on the other hand is trying to take the stance of being on a higher ground. Catering to niche but increasing English speaking, well healed upper middle class. The merchants of dreams are making the aspirations realistic enough to spin a hypnotic web around the audience.

News Vs Non-News content: Not everything is bad after all. And it shows in the non-news programming content. More in-depth, critical and insightful. The quality of such programmes has surely improved and knowledge is indeed being disseminated. The influence/charm of Discovery/History and NGC is spreading and the Indianisation of the same is also adding thrust.

Us and Them : Its always easy to blame someone else for something. Maybe I'm committing the same mistake? Am I not? Increasingly I also get a feeling that we as a nation are a "news" starved one. So if there isn't any, just like a demand supply equation the news needs to be "created". Consider the example when some media people offered the matchstick to someone attempting self-immolation. Think of that person who was covering the event. After all he was covering an "event". So how could the script be changed? So we come to the script. Why I call it a script? Simply because this Bollywood fed society is looking for the same in media. The merging of reality with dreams is creating a cheap entertainment proposition. Why else would channels flash "Breaking News: Abhishek and Aishwarya get engaged". I mean fuck man, you asked for it that is why you are getting it. If you don't want to see it shut it off. But no. Ask yourself, how many times you catch yourself unawares when you are left wondering what the hell am I watching? Surely once everytime you switch on the TV or reading a newspaper. The number of Economic Times readers in Mumbai locals is slowly but surely being replaced by Mumbai Mirror and Mid-Day readers. All because our hunger in all its legitimate and perverse forms is now being catered to. Catered to well after all. So "We the nation" are as much responsible as anyone else would be.

So while the new channels wait with bated breath for the announcement of marriage of Abhishek and Ash, I would sit and hope of another dawn. In the meanwhile maybe we can redefine NEWS as Neo-liberal Entertainment Without Substance ?

The year that was

2007-01-16T21:11:00.001+05:30

The year that was ...

Year 2006 was a memorable one for me. For various reasons ranging from my wonderful trips to the start of second leg of my career to what I gained and what I lost. Its start was marked by the lightest of terms in IIM Lucknow - Term VI. With the fact that exams were round the corner and the placement preparation in full flow I surprised myself by not worrying about either of the two and focusing on pushing PRiSM - The Marketing Cell to a higher level in Manfest. And I was happy that at the end of the day, we made a mark. Thanks to all fellow prismiites and the enthusiasm shown we came up trumps. The successful co-ordination made me learn a lot. Soon the events took a turn for the better. Being eligible for the HEPP (Higher entry placement program) I had put in the CV for a few firms (barring the IT sector with the exception of IBM). Soon I had the offer from IBM with a question about the profile. The profile not being to my liking I had to leave the offer. And then came the cakewalk called Reliance retail, which in the hind sight looks like the right decision I made.

But this was all academic and professional which went on fine. More happier were the personal moments. The moments that added to me as a person and the moments that showed me the various colours of life. From the touching moment of attending Convo in front of my dad and watching his expressions of joy to the happy times during HP trip. In between I made so many new friends at the workplace. Strengthened the old ties. Failed. Failed again. Failed yet again. And continue to fail.. Still going on. Going on strong hopefully.

Travelling got onto another high. Starting with Mukteshwar on new year, to Rishikesh, to Lakshadweep and capping it with snow in Fagu. Health as usual went through the ups and downs. The parties took a different colour altogether. Landed in the city of Mumbai, the city of excesses as I call it. Have been travelling in the locals. Life has become a frenzy of activities. I miss the campus. I miss the "weekends" coz its six days a week working for me. Two of my cousins got married. Three of my friends got married and the rest also took the plunge in the process.

So if I look back, its been one of the most enriching of the years of my life. I think IIM Lucknow deserves special mention for that and then my closest friends. They know who they are so I need not take names. I just want to thank them though I know I can't thank them enough. Off course my family has also stood behind me as always. I can't even think of thanking them coz I know I can't ever do that enough.

So that was 2006 in short .. Lets see how 2007 turns up ..

Blah Blah Blah

2007-01-16T20:49:00.001+05:30

This is an ode to all the people who have influenced/intrigued me by their creativity.

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. Use your illusion. Hazaron Khwahishen aisi ke har khwahish pe dum nikle. Bahut nikle mere armaan lekin phir bhi kam nikle. Shaam se aankh main nami se hai. Kya karen kya na karen yeh kaisi mushkil haaye. Madiralaya jaane ko ghar se chalta hai peene vala. Alag alag path dikhlaate sab, asamanjas main hai bhola bhala. And I have become comfortably numb. I walk a lonely road the only road that i've ever known. I'm a Highway Star. This is the end my only friend the end. Show me how to live. Kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahan nahi milta. Kabhi zameen toh kabhi aasmaan nahi milta.

Another "business" trip

2007-01-16T20:45:00.001+05:30

Another trip, another day, another experience. My friend said that I seem to be regaining my flair for writing that I possessed in the past. I don't know about the flair but if I continue to travel like this I have no reason to not have the content to write on. I came for a whirlwind official trip to Hyderabad again. Stayed with my cousin today. Had not been able to attend his marriage and met after a gap of around 2 years at least. We have been best friend sorts more than anything else. And he hasn't changed too much since the time I met him last. And it felt good that he hadn't. Somethings are more valuable if they don't change. Being crystallised in time they teach us and remind us. Human values are one such domain. He met me with so much of warmth that I just forgot all my tiredness or illness. Meeting bhabhi for the first time was also great and it just told me that in times to come I'll enjoy this constancy in this relationship. Besides home food was such a pleasant experience for a change.
The day in the office was regular business. One of my first high level meeting went smoother than I had expected with me fielding all the questions with ease.
The funniest moment of the day however came in at the airport yet again : Courtsey a Telugu movie trailer being shown. Imagine the Hero facing a villain with another villain standing around ten feet behind the hero. The villain behind the hero throws a spear at the hero. And hero with seemingly eyes behind his head catches it with ease. But that just ain't enough, more to come yet. In a split second reaction he rotates the spear and "reverse" throws it back (without actually looking back!!). And viola, like a villain seeking missile the spear follows a flat trajectory (did we learn Physics enough or did we miss some gravity defying laws??) before hitting the villain. Nevertheless movies take the liberty in defying science so no comments on that. But this scene had me in splits. Hats off to such kind of cinema.
(In the next scene by the way the hero was soon gyrating in hillarious PT cum Shocked steps.)
Am on the flight back now and the flight attendents are at work as usual, labouriously. Their crew captain is trying to make some "noises". Ya am calling that noise coz I couldn't get half of what she's trying to say. Would someone please teach them the basic of saying things slowly and clearly instead of trying to match the speed of plane in speaking as well. And for god sake the more of this anglicised/stylised version of Hindi accent the more I would feel sorry for Hindi.
Ok .. Enough of criticism. The cold has just got to my head perhaps. So i'll try to switch off.

Getting back ...

2007-01-06T10:25:00.001+05:30

Its been long since my last post came in. In fact it was last year :). That doesn't mean I havn't been writing. Its just that I havn't got a chance to post them. Sometimes due to unavailability of net and sometimes just the lack of time. But the last month has been full of activities. It started with my movement to this team. Within a week I was in Jaipur. Back in Mumbai for a day and I was off to Himachal (more details on the trip as a separate post). While in HP, I was asked to come to Hyderabad soon after. Back from Hyd on 30th, I spent much of 31st arranging for a party that I decided to have at my place. And so the times have been fun and hectic. But most importantly the times have been happy. The only thing unusual is the backlog of movies that has developed. I am yet to see kabul express, happy feet, The Prestige and Babel. So the first task in this new year is to catch up on these. In the meanwhile, time to publish the posts that have been waiting in the corridors.

Flight Back to Mumbai - 21st Dec 2006

2007-01-06T10:23:00.000+05:30

One of the comments on my post said that Airports are perhaps one of the best places to reflect upon. How true it is indeed. Today I'm flying back from Jaipur. But its been an interesting experience. And I would think about them as colours. Reason being they just seem to show the vivid colours of life that make it so beautiful along with its darker shades as well.

The Colours: As I proceed to security check there is a bunch of 4 people ahead of me. Two "original" foreigners and two "wannabe" foreigners (ladies). They giggle into the security bay. One of them (lets call her A) first raises her pitch into a funny frequency and says "ooh you would want to see our laptops right .. here it is". And then she promptly heads towards the guys' side. Uh oh ... she realises and again giggles to the right side. Her friend follows (lets call her B), "no no please the bag should go like this". The two, between them, are carrying as much luggage as can be allowed perhaps. And then as we go ahead watching the drama. The scanner detects something so the lady A is politely asked to show her suitcase. She first grabs hold of her laptop (covered in a velvet bag by the way) and then promptly heads off. And poor security people have to shout to get her attention to show her suitcase. If I had thought I had seen enough of their weird behaviour more was to come.
The lady sits in the lounge and promptly lights up a cigarette. For a moment I was left wondering that have I visited enough airports in this country or not coz none allows smoking in the lounges. I look around and much to my relief even this doesn't because there are smoke detectors around. So it is indeed a non-smoking zone after all. So the next question I ask myself is that has this lady travelled much by air? And incidentally I forgot to give you one piece of the detail that apart from their accentuated speech there clothes are as much accentuated as they can get. Anyways who am I to interfere. My only option is just to wonder.. While I'm thinking about all these things a lady with her kid comes upto her and requests the lady that please don't smoke as her kid gets uncomfortable and this place is anyways not a smoking zone. Prompt comes a reply can you please take your kid to the gate as I can't go back to the security area !! Poor lady goes away.
I suddenly get into thinking about a certain kind of people who always want attention and can't live without it. Just as I am trying to figure out how she fits the bill in this profile, a gentleman shouts from the other seat "Can't you listen if someone is requesting you not to smoke. That too in a non-smoking zone!!". Just as I tried to gauge what would be her response she shouts back to her friends- "who the hell is he to talk to me like that? Noone talks to me like that. I don't give a fuck. If you wanna fight come and fight." I couldn't help smiling. After all it was a perfect example of a response of highly insecure person who knows she's wrong and yet she wants all the attention. And so the cigarette continued to emit the smoke. Soon after she got up to board her flight and left the cup she was using as an ashtray where she was sitting. I called up her friend and requested for the cup to be thrown away. Prompt came the reply "Jaane dijiye na (let it go)". I got up to throw away the cup myself. With 20 eyes following me and two ashamed ones I felt satisfied doing that. I don't know what prompted that action of mine but I felt happy doing it. I don't care what the world does but I knew I was right. Her friend ashamed by now started thanking me and I chose to ignore. Small incidence but a significant one for me. To know myself and to know others surrounding me. How happy I felt to know that I was perhaps not as good as the world claims to be. I'm happy being what I am.

The rest of the flight passed uneventfully. Mumbai as usual was a pain as soon as I landed thanks to the taxi guys. Beware : Never take a blue "pre-paid" cab at Mumbai airport and check the charts of yellow taxis before getting in.

Mathrubhoomi - A nation without women

2007-01-06T10:22:00.000+05:30

Mathrubhoomi - A nation without woman.

I saw this movie a few days back. Had been looking around for it since quite some time and finally laid hands on it. Its been hailed as one amongst the top 10 movies of the year by Time. Much to its credit its indeed a hard hitting movie.

Backdrop: Set in a futuristic (not by the development angle but just a passage in time) village, it shows a situation where because of the practice of female infanticide, there are no women left in the village. There is a family of a father with his five sons. The sons are all eligible bachelors but the father can't find a bride for his sons in or around the village. The village is a wreck psychologically and the only vent for the sexual desires of men being pornographic material. The same is depicted in a chilling manner.
The story takes a turn, when suddenly the priest who's been entrusted with the responsibility of finding a bride for the guys, comes across a girl who has been kept in hiding by her father. The father of the five sons comes to meet the girl's father along with his youngest son. As it turns out the father of the girls ends up "selling" his daughter and "marries" her off to all the five sons. Here on the story takes the morbid turn depicting the suffering of the girl at the hands of four of the sons and their father, while the fifth son gets killed at the hands of his own brothers out of jealousy. The film then hurries into a shattering climax taking a caste angle as well. The girl having been raped by so many men and tortured, gives birth to a girl while half of the village kills eachother speculating on who is the father of the "boy".

The film to say the least is chilling. It hits you in the face with no qualms. Its an issue which deserves no mercy in treatment and hence doesn't get any either. Come to think of it, a world without women would indeed be bereft of any emotions, love or sanity. The most beautiful creation of god after all has a meaning to herself. The dignity of women, if hurt, can only lead to breakdown of unimaginable scale and a complete destruction of the social fabric that we live in.

It also delves into the issues of sexuality and its expression. The female lead lives with 5 husbands and yet the only time she derives pleasure is when she's with one guy. The other four and the father in law themselves end up feeling no pleasure. Thus the role of sexuality in love is shown in a very subtle manner and yet true to its importance. The importance of it being just as a beautiful expression of love. If there is no underlying love it is just a commodity of consumption which you can only enjoy till as much time you don't get bored of it. Beyond that, the desire just kills you from within and the person ceases to be a man.

Another aspect that is highlighted is how raping a woman is used as an instrument of taking revenge. It just shows both, the cowardice of a man as well as the respect that we have for women in the patriarchal feudal society still prevelant.

Towards the end the movie weaves, magically, all these issues into one fabric and depicts the potential anarchy that we could actually be heading to. With new statistics flowing in everyday about the male to female ratio falling in the most affluent (mind it, affluent and not educated) states of our country, the movie just runs a chill into your spine.

Technically its a very well shot movie with taut editing. The metaphoric depictions and the what is there is what you see kind of hard hitting scenes in a right mix, its a cinema lover's delight. However it surely is not for the weak hearted. It leaves you numb with some of its scenes. So much so that you can't perhaps think of anything else after the movie is over. You search for a light movie in your library to get over it.

All in all, its a must watch for those who like quality cinema.

A "flight" in observation

2006-12-20T18:34:00.000+05:30

I am in flight to Jaipur and as a part of my usual habit can't help but observe people. People around me wondering / wandering / sitting / sleeping or doing nothing just like me perhaps. Oh but I am writing. Is it? Or am I just expressing. Anyways this is not about me. Its about the people around me and somethings that catch my eye or ear.

Airport lounge. A kid just running around. With a twinkle in his eyes. Mischievious one or a shy one? I wink at him and he smiles. I suddenly try to remind me. When was the last time I smiled like that. To an unknown person. Without inhibition. Without a thought. Well my memory is still jogging to recall that moment. I'm sure it will be a marathon. And suddenly his mother calls. Putting an end to whatever more communication could transpire between him and me.

Carrier Bus. Two ladies. Indian. Dresses - western. Short T-shirt and Jeans. Pretty comfortable one should think. But no that's not the answer. If you observe you would realise how uncomfortable it is perhaps for them. They keep tugging at the T-Shirts to hide any square inch of skin that may get revealed.
And I'm set about wondering about two things:
One : If at all something is not what you want to wear or are conscious of wearing, why would you wear it? I agree its fashion perhaps. Lower the rise of the jeans, higher the acceptability quotient in your peer group perhaps. But then are you being just to yourself? If I understand a wee bit about clothes (I could be wrong, absolutely wrong coz my fashion sense starts and ends with my comfort), then low rise is supposed to enhance your sensuality. Let it do what it is supposed to do. Make your torso look longer or whatever. At the end of the day if you think its adding to your appeal. Let it do. And if it makes you uncomfortable then just don't wear it.
Caveat: Its not a comment on the dresses of those young ladies. They did look beautiful in those. But just a little vulnerable as well.

Two : Time and again we come back to the species called Man and its much maligned image. But then I'm sure we deserve a lot of it. I wonder why, specially in India, men have to be at their worst. The discomfort of the two ladies, as much as it arose in their own conscious self, it also arises in the way Indian men "respect" women. "Respect" did I say? I understand you must be thinking I'm joking. But then I fail to understand why our eyes in this nation have to rove so much in the wrong directions. Why can't we just mind our own business. Why do we have to compartmentalise dresses as respectable and inviting (i'm referring to Sari vs the western outfits). Despite the fact that Sari shows more square inch of a woman's body its the jeans and T-Shirt outfit that we have to make the ladies feel uncomfortable wearing around. Its shameful that we have been able to put those petite ladies in a situation where they have to watch out every two minutes that their skin doesn't show. How pathetic can we get? Or can we get any worse. Oh yes, men can shame a many. They can actually go ahead and attribute rapes and molestation and eve teasing to such kind of dresses. Well on that .. I don't even wish to comment. Makes me feel sick to be a man.

Times they are a changin'

2006-12-20T18:32:00.000+05:30

I'm on my way to Jaipur today. Finally the day is here when I will actually be visiting the store. With so much of hard work gone in the least that I wanted to do was be at the store when it was launched in Hyderabad. But I suppose someone somewhere (is it god or is it destiny or is it just like that) had different ideas. And thus none of my team members excluding our boss made it to the store as per her own dictum ("There are a people too many already did she say?"). But how times change and how the minma soon gives way to something towards a higher side. A brighter side. That's what I was actually telling a friend of mine today. In mathematic terms from a minima you have only two ways to go. And both go up. Life is something similar. If you've hit a local minima the only way to go in life would be towards happiness. Off course my engineer friends and those who know maths may argue otherwise as well saying that from a local minima you could go downhill also! To them I'll say I'm talking about an absolute one that you feel from within yourself. And if its a local one from where you are going downhill, well that just means that so far you were on a high!!
So to come to think of it you should have already been feeling happy for being where you were.
Coming back to my own times, just a week back I was in another team. Wondering what was I doing. Wondering when am I gonna switch. It was inevitable and I knew it was happening and yet it was somewhat taxing. No work is worse than excess of work. So just as I was wondering what am I doing there, I came in here wondering what am I gonna do here. Off course I have realised and know what I would like to be doing but given my experience I knew not all is always in your hands. Specially when it comes to bosses. But as luck would have it, 5 days into the team and I'm gonna be doing what I have been wishing to do for the past 2 months. I know the usual suspects in the stomach and what's in store ahead might not exactly be a smooth sail and there could be unpleasanteries as well. But at least I will be giving myself a chance. A chance to succeed or a chance to fail. That's what brings in the excitement in life after all. The unpredictability of life is one of its attributes that makes it so very beautiful and worth living.

I just hope that the next three months in this stint would be something that I will learn a lot from. So with fingers crossed and a happy heart I head back home.

Numbers ...

2006-12-20T18:28:00.000+05:30

Someone today complimented me for having completed 8 posts! I never realised it till she actually pointed it out to me. For me the number games isn't important. Last thing I would imagine myself is running after numbers (not even if its money that I'm counting). What matters to me is the continuity of the thought. The continuity that could translate into discipline and yet not leave its creativity. Change is the only constant. And so should be the thought. Constantly in drive and constantly changing as well. The opinions may be defined over a longer duration of time. However with changing times even they should be subjected to scrutiny and changes as and when one stops feeling the conviction behind them.
And thus with this thought I hope for myself as well as my friend that we keep writing and expressing ..

Dream that I would live to live ?

2006-12-12T14:06:00.001+05:30

The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle. - Anais Nin

Incidence 1: Yours truely goes into one of his introspective mode. Usual questions. Questions without answers. What am I? Is this what I want to be? What's the dream that I really want to pursue? Etc etc etc

Coincidence 1: My best friend from college sends me the URL of our classmate's blog.

Coincidence 2: I meet up another very good friend from L and he ends up discussing with me the same thing.

Coincidence 3: Someone close to my heart repeats an almost same thing though in a different context (more towards the futility of expecting something out of mundane office life).

And I thought its more than just co-incidence and perhaps I would do well to capture the thoughts that come across my mind on this regard.

What makes up the dreams? Why is it that we keep chasing them? They are broken they are shattered? Then we build more or we just lose hope? "Hope", the biggest strength as well as the biggest weakness of ours. What is it that differentiates them from goals? What is the fascination about dreams that makes them so more wonderful than mere goals? Is it their sublimity or is it the fact that they propel us into a world of imagination and illusions. Illusions that we want to turn into reality. Do the goals lose the charm of dreams because they seem more attainable and appear closer to reality. Much like the world of celluloid, which is so far from reality and yet on those few occasions it metamorphoses itself into a world so much believable.

So what are the answers? I wish I had them. I so wish I don't have them. Reason ? Well, partly because I feel the day we fulfill all the dreams the road will come to an end. The day we cease to dream we cease to exist. The journey of self discovery starts from the direction that our dreams show. If we have no directions we practically have no road. Indeed dreams are the catalyst. Catalyst for life. Without them the reaction of life may still continue but without the spark, speed or excitement. Its up to us to choose. We chose a life full of dreams : dreams fulfilled, some unfulfilled and yet others broken OR a listless lifeless routine till we reach the end like others. The end where there will be those who would have come in hoards without dreams. Some who would have tired out before reaching there. And yet others who would have come by the roads less travelled. Where it wasn't just any other road. But a boulevard lined with the trees of our dreams. They would have tasted the fruits of joy. Been stung by the thorns of allurements. The bitter taste of unhappiness would have yielded to sweetness of success or the other way.

And thus those who would have dreamt without the fear of fulfilling them or losing them would know the power of dreams. Power to shape lives. Power to enjoy life. Power to be what they would ever have wanted to be.

Dreams pass into the reality of action। From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living - Anais Nin

Mumbai Local

2006-12-07T13:25:00.000+05:30

This is the first one in the series of posts that will have the origin in Mumbai Locals. One way of getting something out of the 1.5 hrs of travel one way that's required for me to reach office. Over the past 7 months that I've been travelling here its not surprising that quite a lot of ideas germinated in the train journeys. Some of them that I've lost and some that I remember. Some that are worth capturing and some that are not. Thus I'll try to capture the essence of those that have crossed my mind and left a mark behind.

It is strange sometimes how your thoughts replicate themselves in life oblivious of your conscious mind and the vice versa. And then it hits you or strikes you suddenly when it is relegated to your subconscious. One such question that used to cross my mind was about the famed Mumbai Spirit. Before coming to here itself people (who hailed from Mumbai) had more or less tired me out into believing something special about this city. And yet as my inquisitive self would have it I used to wonder that is it really so. If yes, where and if not then why doesn't someone question it. Nonetheless the question seated itself on the back bench of my mind.

When I landed here it was the month of May with the advent of the renowned monsoon rains of Mumbai and its travails round the corner. And yet the daily grind that I got into didn't make me worry about it till it hit here. The daily ritual without rains itself was enough to cope with it and I was still learning. Every morning at 9:15 it would be a wrestling match with the Vashi station being the arena. After sometime I stopped struggling much and tried learning the art of reading and listening to music while standing itself. I had the choice of having clean clothes to office or a seat for 1.5 hrs and I chose the former perhaps.

Nonetheless the spirit issue raised itself twice in my conscious mind soon. First was the advent of monsoon. And behold the spectacle the race against something became a race against nature perhaps. There were three incidences particularly which made me think.

One : I got down at VT with the much needed aid called umbrella. I was waiting for a cab (they somehow just change their mind to take you or not with the changing direction of flowing water perhaps). Suddenly one shove and I realise there is not one but two people under the same umbrella now and asking me to move to hire a cab. With one shoulder exposed to the rain, even before I could question if I had the right to actually "share" my umbrella or not I was moving in ankle deep water. And while thikning of my poor shoes I got into a cab and was left wondering as ever.

Two : The same place the same rain and the same plight. I was wondering what to do with rain too hard to prevent me from getting wet even under the umbrella. Just then a cab came and a guy got into it. Even before he could question I was into the cab as well thinking it was a shared one. And my friend joined in. That person didn't say anything. Till we reached our destination and when we tried to give him money he just didn't take it. And then we realised he had hired the cab and it wasn't a sharing one!

Three : I was getting down the foot overbridge at Kurla station. There was an old lady walking ahead of me. So I slowed down and was resisting the force coming from behind so as to not push the lady. But then one gentleman wearing Allen Solly gave me a mouthful and said why the hell don't you move. He pushed me and hopped a step pushed the lady who almost fell and moved on. I took a step back and tried to soak in what had actually happened.

Three incidences, three experiences. All during monsoons when Mumbaikars wouldn't stop talking about 26th July 2005 when they all came out in hoards to help eachother. And each time it left me amused more than admiration. I asked a couple of people what would happen if same thing is repeated in some other city ?

This was followed a little later by the cruel act of Bomb blasts and the famed Spirit came alive in its glory. But this time it was different as well. Because the questions that came to my mind suddenly found other voices as well. They were just dormant perhaps. Including some renowned faces to those voices (whom I don't identify with for other reasons). The voices feeble but definite were echoing in Media also.

Given this backdrop I set about thinking. This city is full of life yes. But what life? Its a city with dreams but no options. If your dream is fulfilled well and good you start moving. If its not, even then you don't have and option. You still need to live. When its survival at stake it can bring out the best and the worst in you. This city brings out both. And yet it choses to look at only the best when it comes and then frames it like a painting on the wall to call it The Spirit. The holy mighty spirit.

And then the next question arises. If I can see it why can't the people see it? Or has it become a divine piece of art like the Last Supper or Monalisa who has to be appraised no matter how you may not understand it? Or you just have to admire it for the sheer imagination and hard work behind the creator of it? The things that he saw and the others didn't. The things that Mumbai saw and the lesser India didn't? Is it the reason? Or is it just a case of self fulfilling prophecy where you want to create a mirror which shows you only the image that you want to? Besides that famed creature created in drawing rooms of people watching the blasts over a pack of popcorn lies truely in some of the slums perhaps. Amongst the people for whom its a struggle to feel something good about their own existence not just life.

But then why do I seek answers? After all Mumbaikars are also normal human beings and have a right to feel good about themselves. Ah but herein lies the crux perhaps. "Normal human beings" did I say? That's something they are for sure not! Tell them that and they'll pounce on you.

No matter how you argue to tell that travelling in local might require inhuman effort but doesn't make you a superhuman because you don't have any option. No matter how you tell them that the next day of blast you can't take leave because an absence without leave may cost you 7 days of bread and butter. No matter if you tell them that a spirit would perhaps halt and see the damage a bomb blast wrecked rather than ignoring the injury to move on. No matter how you tell them that its the location of corporate offices that makes them the highest tax paying city and not the fact that it has 1.5 crore people living in here. No matter how you tell them that there is life beyond this humdrum of activity where a man takes a breath, asks the neighbour if he's alright. No matter how you tell them that there is a need to tell them. No matter how my friend no matter how .. They will not listen. For this is a city of bad listeners. Half of the populace is deaf. Another quarter that is unwilling to listen. Another quarter that doesn't understand. And the voice of the rest (yes half + 2 quarters is not full just like a packed local doesn't mean its full) is not heard for its the noise that's overwhelming. Noise of humans teaming like bees. Howling of the "wolves" in cars. Of "rats" in slums. This is a jungle without trees. Without silence. Without water. Without options. So live before you are crushed. Jump before you are pushed down. Crush the next guy before he walks on you. And when you've succeeded put a frame in your house around what is called "Mumbai Spirit" before it sneaks away out of your house and you lie naked in your bed alone.

Mukteshwar

2006-12-02T19:14:00.000+05:30

One of my passions in life is Travel. Given a choice I'd love to hit the road at a moment's notice. Luckily most of my trips to places that I've been to have been memorable ones. Both because of the place as well as for the company. And thus my memoirs of such journeys. If I think of one to start this stream, my first trip to Mukteshwar comes instantly to mind. For various reasons varying from total lack of planning to the actual destination not being the one that we intended for. Also perhaps because of the fact that it was my first outing from IIM-Lucknow.

It was the month of August (mid) and we had just started settling down at hel(L). For me it was a heaven in hell off course. We had just made a few good friends while getting used to the hectic lifestyle at the institute. And as so happens, with some people you become good friends faster than others. So we three had become pretty good friends in no time, more so because of the course BIO (Behaviour In Organization).

Planning (or the Lack of it): I remember it was Thursday at lunch table my friend came up with the idea if we should go to Nainital and if I'd like to come. And I said yes, lets do it. But there was a nagging doubt - courtsey MANAC (Management Accounting - I hate that subject till date). As luck would have it there was a quiz announced on the coming Saturday. And one of us got worried over losing the 5 marks it was worth. But I was still game and more so for the lovely weather that had come up to play. Till next day afternoon it was should I go or should I not for her. By evening we were able to convince her that lets just go. Anyways at 6:30 it was finalized and at 7 we were on our way to the station!! Thus started the journey of me and the two ladies who became the very best of my friends in times to come.

The Start : There was a train at 8:15 to Kathgodam and we rushed to buy the tickets. Only to realise reaching the train that there was absolutely no scope of sleeper berths!! The ladies were obviously uncomfortable by the prospect of of travelling in that packed general compartment. While we were still pondering what to do, the train started and we stood there with our tickets .. gone waste !! What next? The next train was at 12 and we thought of it to be imprudent to waste 4 hrs with the doubt of not getting a berth there as well? So we decided to board a bus for Nainital. We went to the Charbagh bust stand only to realise that we had come to the wrong one as the bus for Nainital leaves from the other one at Lal Bagh (till then we thought there was only one bus stand in Lucknow). And thus began our journey on a rickshaw through most shady of lanes lined with small theatres playing C-Grade flicks, deserted to the extent of making you feel lonely and bumpy enough to remind me the torture my bum suffered in travelling from BHU gate to Assi ghat in Varanasi. Nonetheless we reached the bus stand in one piece. To our more amazement the last bus to Nainital had already left and we were literally clueless till one of the conductors told us to get into the bus going to Delhi. He said we could get down at Bareilly and then go to Kathgodam where we could get a cab for Nainital. And we jumped in without thinking too much.

Lucknow to Nainital : And what a bus ride it was indeed. Truely a rickety-rockety ride with the head banging here and there. Icing on the cake was the cassette that the bus driver chose to play. It would figure amongst the best (worst) of the Bollywood style audio masala with full emotional effects. All three of us couldn't help out bursting into laughter every now and then. Finally after 6 hours of pain and joy thanks to the bus and the roads in UP we reached Bareilly. And suddenly as I stepped into the bus stand I felt like an alien with all the eyes following us. Then it struck me that a guy with two girls was not particularly a usual sight for the people at that earthly hour. Nonetheless we had no choice but to wait there as we realised that the bus for Kathgodam (Haldwani) was at 5:30 !! So one and a half hour at Bareilly bus stand half asleep on a bench we sat sipping a few cups of tea and discussing what's next and what a wonderful ride we had. Specially one of the two ladies who had never travelled in a Deluxe bus till date, forget the ordinary one!
At 5:30 we took the bus and the ride proved out to be even bumpier then the previous one. We arrived at Haldwani and got off at the wrong place. So to reach the "correct" place we took a six seater for another breezy but bumpy ride. Reaching Kathgodam we realised that it would be better to book our return tickets in advance to avoid the Lucknow episode being repeated. And thus another torturous ride for my bum on a rickshaw. Only to realise at the station that the reservation counter had not opened yet. Outside the station there was a mad rush to grab the passengers in shared cabs for Nainital. We boarded one when we came to know that there was a reservation counter in Nainital also. The ride to Naintal was beautiful if it was an indication of anything lying ahead. The clouds trying to kiss the hills. The sun trying to come into its own. The streams giving the background music. The air much pure and cleaner then the plains we came from. And three tired but happy souls who just lost there sleep while wondering in amazement about what lied ahead. Finally we reached Nainital at around 10:15 and first things first we booked the return tickets for Lucknow.

Nainital : First agenda on our mind was to have something to eat and then book a hotel. So we started strolling along the Mall Road searching for an "affordable" acco. We walked across it once to realise the affordable was not so affordable. Then we first decided to eat. And had our sumptuous lunch. By the lake, watching the clouds trying to engulf the lake. Finishing of the lunch we restarted our hunt for the hotel. This time round we hired a cab to look around for hotels even beyond Mall road. We reached one which seemed affordable but the moment we asked if they served liquor he back tracked as if we were demons. In the meanwhile came the suggestion of going to Mukteshwar and come back and look for an acco. As it turned out the driver of the cab (Sonu) gave the suggestion of infact staying in Mukteshwar and visiting the places around there only. One minute we were thinking about it and the next we were headed to Mukteshwar.

Mukteshwar : Having said tata, bye-bye to Nainital we headed for Mukteshwar. The long route to Mukteshwar was as good as any. With each kilometer that we moved towards it, the changing landscape beckoned a breathtaking experience ahead. With minimal traffic and like a virgin territory not yet raped by mankind it was stretching its arms for those who just wanted to get immersed in it. We stopped at a few places to touch a few streams and feel their purity. And it was bliss.

Finally we reached Mukteshwar. I believe the word comes from the sandhi of Mukt + Eeshwar.
Now we could interpret it .. the free god or the freedom to meet god or whatever .. All in all for the want of better superlative qualification I would say its god's place. Where the moment you set the foot you realise you are in a different world. Surrounded by peace, enchanted by the scenery and hypnotized by the beauty. You either feel like god or you feel closer to him/her. Having reached there we found accomodation in most easiest of ways with no questions asked (except for our address) at Red Roofs. What a wonderful place it is. Mr Dixit the owner is an ex-marine engineer settled down there. I envy his life for a change. And the whole place seems so much like home with the due comforts and the warmth of family as well. So finally we nestled in that place which as I said exuded so much warmth that I still remember it (and I'm sure all of us do).

When we reached Mukteshwar we actually realised how tired we were. But the abundance of freshness there just made us forget our fatigue and we were soon headed for the sunset point and other known areas around. First We reached a guest house near GMVN hotel. Jumping, skipping, hopping and running literally. And so it had to be. Its just so alluring that you wish to feel free in all manners with noone even giving a glance of doubt. When we reached what a site it was. You could see the Garhwal range from that point. To add to it we got garm-a-garam pakode and some tea. Rarely have I tasted such good food (apart from my mom's cooking off course). After seeing the snow capped ranges we headed to the sunset point through a small trek. And we sat there on a rock. Watching the sun set in its full glory. One of the most picturesque sites that will remain etched in my memories. The colour changing from a golden to an orange before bleeding to red and then fading away in crimson like a last cry from heart. And finally we came back to the lodge. Much of the distance in silence. Perhaps we just wanted to capture the moment as a treasure. And were reluctant to let go of the image.
We came back and had a few more snacks before settling into cozy comfort of the blankets. And then the conversation started. We chatted. And we chatted. About the craziest thing that we had done in life and the life at hel(L) the way it was shaping up. Before we realised it was dinner time and my two partners ditched me for the drinking session. The bottle went the way it came, back to the campus. After dinner we decided to crash early to get up early. And by 11 we fell asleep.

Day Two: I got up early in the morning with beautiful sun-rays falling on my face. At 6:30 in the morning it was one of the most beautiful morning visuals. From the balcony one could see the sun making itself visible. Slowly but surely. The rays filtering through the leaves were playing hide and seek with the eyes. And the slow wind, so quitely was cajoling the trees to reveal more of sun's beauty while the clouds were reluctant to give way. The owner had asked for an early morning trek but I couldn't make it because the ladies were still in bed. Nonetheless taking our own sweet time we got ready by 10 and then went for a trek. One of the ladies (lemme name them as A and K) fell once on the way and Miss A also almost repeated the act. But it was fun with knowledge on what is to be done when a bear comes (btw you are supposed to run downhill when attacked by a bear so that his falling hair block his view. Those who think feigning to be dead may not help coz it entirely depends on how long you hold your breath). So Miss A and K along with me enjoyed that small but wonderful trek and came back for our next outing.
We had hired Sonu for the day and he had stayed overnight for the next day. So we started off saying good bye to our wonderful host. We first went to an animal farm/research centre. It was one of the most touching scenes to see one or two day old sheeps ! The people there were too eager to show us around and I realised how in the smallest of places you find the largest of hearts.
For our next endeavour the choices were two, a temple and a waterfall. All three of us unanimously chose the waterfall. And we were headed to have one of the most memorable experience of ours. We reached the place but didn't know the way to the fall. We decided to find our way but just a little way down we realised were heading down towards river rather than the fall. So dejected we started our way back. And then we met Ganesh. He had come around from nowhere and Sonu interjected him to assisst us. And thus with our able guide (just a teenager kid) we headed towards the fall. The path it was so exciting that we were just too eager to reach it. After much of jumping and hopping apart from careful stepping we reached. But just before reaching Miss K had another fall and just as ever she bravely got up without a twitch on the face. But we all know she was really hurt and yet she never showed. Hats off dear. Finally we were there. We the only signs of humanity there with all the love of nature around us. The ladies jumped into the water like mermaids while I was a little heistant. But after that bit I jumped in too. And then the fun started. The energy of water got into us and the next hour or so was just too much fun. It can only be felt and I can't describe it. Finally when we were tired enough we decided to head back to the car.
Drenched to the skin, shivering but too happy as well. Then we headed for lunch. We stopped at a small time restaurant where it was too dark to eat. So we headed for its roof where we had our meals under the sun. For that small place perhaps the spectre of a guy with two girls was something strange and almost the whole place was watching us having food. And a too enthu guy acutally started playing a bit of pathetic bollywood number as well. Nonetheless we just enjoyed the breathtaking view visible from the roof and the good food. After the sumptuous meal we started back for Kathgodam. En-route there was still more spectacle that mother nature beheld for us. We stopped at one such point. Had snacks and Miss A got more interested in a puppy. She was even eager to take it along with her and but for our resistence she might have even carried it along. But brief snacks were all that we could have and were on our way again. But mid-way the mouth watering sights of corns stopped us briefly and trust me they were amongst the best I've had (other than the ones available in Varanasi).

Finally after the journey of one and a half hours we reached Kathgodam and enjoyed sweets at
a sweet shop. And then we were ready to say bye to Sonu. Apart from paying we obviously tried to come up with words to thank him enough but I guess we would have anyways fallen short. So with heavy hearts but wonderful memories we boarded the train well in time. The train started leaving behind the hills and the rivers. But the glimpses were there. Under the brightly lit sky (thanks to the moon), the faint outlines of the hills and the sparkles of the streams were bidding us good bye. And to add to it the ladies decided for an aural treat as well. They sung the song that would have best summed up the song perhaps. "Aaj jaane ke zid na karo .." by Fareeda Khanum. How well they sung it !! I'd always remember that ladies. With those memories fresh we soon fell asleep ..

Back to Lucknow : We reached lucknow in time to attend the classes and for many days to come were the topic of many a talks and many a gossips. But hell if we cared. We knew we had come from one of the best of our trips of our life and would do anything to repeat it.

In the end I'd like to say only one thing. It was one of the best things to happen me. I've been to mukteshwar twice after that but that touch of innocence and spontaneity was not always there. The other trips being special as well, the first one still comes closest to my heart, just like first love perhaps.

Nishaant

2006-12-01T17:52:00.000+05:30

Yesterday I saw Nishaant. Again, after a long time. It is one of the better movies I have seen. And hence this post on it.

To give a backdrop it is set up in a village of Andhra of the 1940s with a feudal set up. Its a story of four brothers with the eldest being the patriarch of the family as well as the village. He and the younger two indulge in unlawful activities while the youngest one who is married doesn't have any of those bad habits. The village is oppressed under the tyranny of the three with no courage to raise any voice against it. Then comes a teacher (played by Girish Karnad) to the village along with his wife (Shabana Azmi). The youngest one for the first time sets eyes on a woman other than his own wife. His elder brothers get her kidnapped. The whole village watches but noone comes to the help of the teacher. His wife is repeatedly raped and kept in captivity. After failing to get help from all the institutional set ups responsible for law and order he evokes the conscience of the village priest. He galvanizes the village into a revolt and the brothers are killed in the end.

I would like to share thoughts on two main streams of thoughts that the movie evoked. One the questions it raises and the way it raises. Two the technical part of it.

Questions and Issues: Some of the issues that it poignantly raises have remained with us despite all are claims of "democracy" and "independence". A huge part of our population has remain untouched by these magical terms. But apart from the regular issues related to a feudal set up and the inertia of the populace I would wish to highlight a few which troubled me more.
The portrayal of women in the movie and the cost of leadership one may have to bear in wake of a mob "awakening" or mob "psyche".

There are two primary women characters in the movie, one wife of the teacher as mentioned and wife of the youngest brother (played by Smita Patil). One becomes the cause / (trigger) of the revolt while the other a mute spectator to it. Its interesting to note the transformation of Susheela (Shabana Azmi) from a doting mother and loyal wife to someone who detests her husband and falls in love with her co-captivator. She resists being raped initially, gives in to her fate and then demands her right in a powerful household. And then she dies alongside her lover with the line "jab maut aani he hai toh kaaran kya poochhna" (why ask the reason when death is destined to come). And yet one thing she doesn't lose is her concern for the other woman (Rukmini, the wife of her lover) even while she runs for her life.
Smita Patil (Rukmini) on the other hand detests her owh family except for her husband who she loves coz of the fact that he refuses to indulge in the excesses. However the same woman with whom she empathises with becomes the bane as her husband starts falling for her and gives her rights partially to her. She also dies at the hands of the mob but not beside her husband. She dies alone as she witnesses the death of perpetrators of injustice.
Why I raise this as an issue is that both women die. In their own respective agony. Both deserted by their husbands. And yet they die so differently. They have no other role. As I mentioned earlier as being a cause/trigger and not a reason of the revolt. Neither as leaders in it neither with reason in it. On all accounts they are shown to be the end victims in either case. Is this what we have reduced women to in our society? Is this the only way we have come to treat them?

Second issue would be of the price that leaders pay. The very person who raises the collective conscience loses everything in the mad fury of mob. He loses his wife for whom he does it all. The very cause for him deserts him in the consequence. And thus I ask, is this the price of leadership? Why do we have to have tragedy associated in such leadership. Why is it that the awakening of a society have to be soaked in the blood of a soul coming from their own ranks? What is it that exacts such a huge cost on someone to shake us? People say for every revolution we have a price to pay. But I ask why is it that who take the fruit of it don't have to pay the cost but those who lose all have to be bereft of the benefits.

Technical: Techincally there are also few questions. The pace of the movie is at times too slow. In an attempt to capture the true essence of a village the director spends too much of time on thing that could easily have been sacrificed at the editor's table. Further the deliberate attempt to be more black and white the backdrops are so inert that sometimes you wonder if anything is moving. No wonder the label of Art movies on such pieces delineates a huge part of the audience or rather loses them altogether. Is it essential to be downright "classy" to get the message across?

The language also used is not what is actually used in that terrain perhaps. Unless its in the heart of Hyderabad.

With these questions I ponder more over it .. and hope to "edit" this post of mine as well :)

Expressions

2006-11-29T18:46:00.000+05:30

Yesterday I created a post and then deleted it. Reason? Well I didn't like it. It just didn't make me feel as if there was conviction behind it. As my friend put, it felt like having been created for the sake of it. And thus I got the idea of this post on "Expressions".

What is an expression ? Is it a form that we give to a thought or an idea? Or is it just a way of communication? A mix of the two? Or something completely different? This we can perhaps leave to the interpreters interpretation.

More important perhaps is the need of expression for ourselves. Sometimes when we look at ourselves in mirror it is our expression that we see more than we the person as we are. And it is our expression that scares us or makes us happy or makes us sad about it. But that expression in mirror is undiluted and is beyond our controls. The written expression comes with that advantage and disadvantage both. Advantage that it gives us a chance to alter the expression in the way we would want. If we are connected to ourselves, our honesty will reflect in it and our expression can be that much closer to our true selves. And yet at the same time the control that we can exercise in it leaves it susceptible to the way we want to be looked at as.

But then just the way a river looks best in its natural flow, poetry in motion, the poetry of words would also be best in its unbridled form. Yet people are also scared of putting down their thoughts in words. Some think that they are not good at it, some think that they are not good at words and yet there are others who are scared to do so. They feel that the lack of that control which can induce the adultery leaves there true self exposed to the world. This fear I wonder is good for one or bad ? Or is it wrong altogether to measure this in terms of good or bad. After all at the end of the day it is a person's individual choice whether he wants to feel vulnerable or remain unseen from the eyes of the world.

What is that I express for? I make attempts to give a tangible form to my thoughts and ideas. For I fear the moment when they may get lost. It is an instrument for me to be closer to myself and my real self. Losing ones individuality could be one of the worst things that could happen to someone. And my writing reminds me of what I am? The good, the bad and the ugly as well. A blank paper is a better mirror for me than that made of silicon. The poetry of words more alluring then a poetry in motion. The black and white of words better than grey of the world. The fonts of alphabets more revealing than the clothes of a sensuous lady. The commas and full stops more reminding then a thousand roadblocks. The prologues and epilogues more interesting then beginnings and ends. And the journey of life is best covered in words then any dam that captures the rivers ...

And hence my expressions ... expressions to myself .. my messages to my own heart .. my own logic thrown back to my brain .. To ask .. to argue .. to fight .. to change .. to stay .. to move and to stop .. to admire and to hate .. to expect and to let go ..

Thus the journey of expressions of a foolish soul ...

Options and Decisions

2006-11-24T20:33:00.000+05:30

Well today's post is related to a poem of mine wherein I've tried to ask myself a few questions. Perhaps these questions ring in many other minds/hearts also. The questions related to options we get in life and the options we come to exercise based on certain decisions of ours that we make.
I feel at any point of time in life we have options and based on the option we choose we get the next option. Much like GRE or similar exams where your answer decides your next question. But what decides our performance at the end of the exams ? Is it our capability to take the right decision or the capability to take the decision at all or is it our tendency to keep looking back on the previous decisions that we made.

If we think of ourselves some of us would leave our decisions to others. Some would choose an option and think what would have happened if we had chosen the other one. Then there would be some who would just chosing the option till they realise that they have just been making the wrong choices. And then there will be a breed which will realise that with each choice the next one has to be made more carefully based on the past experience. And there would be yet another set who will just keep clicking a random number. We can give various names to such categories, cowards, reckless, mature/experience, fools (not in the corresponding order).

But we all know that some of us emerge as winners while others end on the low scores. So what is it that winners do and the others don't. Perhaps first thing that they realise is that life is not just an exam. Its beautiful after all. Life does contain a mix of logic and emotions. And emotions come to us naturally. Logic is the name they give to the patterns they build in our brains by a systematic set up of "education". So do they strike the balance between the two ?

Lets now take an example. Relationship. Instead of elaborating on how different people would react to this, we need to just ask ourselves. And we would get the answer what kind of a person we are. All of us in life would have had to make a choice on this aspect. Based on what we chose we would be in different situations. And how we have dealt with those would let us know quite a lot about ourselves.

At the end of it if I look at it we can chose to be forward driven or sit on the fence trying to be our own judge rather than letting life decide while we perform our role that we chose for ourselves.

As one of my friend put "We always overestimate our roles in others' lives and understimate theirs' in our life."

On this note .. my work ..

उलझी हुई डोर को,
सुलझाने मॆं निकले जो पल,
उन पलों में ,
कुछ सिरे मैने छोड़ दिए
उस पार उन सिरों के,
थी एक अनजान जिन्दगी,
अनजान मगर थी तो कुछ जिन्दगी,
जहाँ ना शब्दों का शोर,
ना ईंट के घर,
ना आंखों मॆं ठंड,
कुछ एहसासों का स्पंदन,
कुछ शरीरों के गर्मी,
एक सड़क सपाट अनंत

मगर इधर उलझी डोरों,
मॆं उलझा मन ,
हर टूटती डोर,
मॆं गाँठ बाँधता यह मन ,
कौन जाने कब छूट जाये,
ना दिखने को पर्यंत
बस अपने जाल खुद बुनता,
कुछ पाने की तलाश मैं,
एक मूढ़ बुड़बक ,
पहचान ना हो जिसकी अभिन्न

Sublimity of moments

2006-11-23T20:17:00.000+05:30

Today's thoughts are picked up where I left a bit in my previous post on moments. Moments that are there and next moment the moment is gone :). How we wish some of them could linger forever and some had never occured. But isn't this sublimity that prompts many to say "live by the moment" or "cherish the moments"? And after all its not always in our hands that which one do we regret to have lived and which one would stay with us for ever. Everyday the book of memories written in words of moments may have a new chapter. And yet certain chapters may be blank or some may just disappear. Its like giving a book to a child. The child within us. We chose to read something we may find interesting. Some of which will make us laugh. Some leave us amused. And some would still be baffling. We try so hard to tear away some pages. But the book is hard bound by time. So even if we tear a part of those pages will always stick. Leaving a break in the book. Would we appreciate such a thing in a book? Then why do we wish to erase those chapters by tearing away the pages? Why not discover the chapters of our own life and try to write the next story? A collection of short stories could be as endearing as an unending saga! But no we don't. Why? That's perhaps the critical question. Because that I feel is essential to the process of self discovery. Not all of us are interested in that because we are afraid of the chapters we have written. The chapters that could define the final chapters of the book. Or the fear of the two words "The End". Whatever be the reason, unless we enjoy our own book no other reader would perhaps like it? I could be wrong or I could be right .. but the fact is that i'm still writing the chapters and still trying to discover .. Who knows the chapters might be closing too soon. On that note a work that I wrote today ..

lamhon ko qaid karne ke jeddojahad,
maano pakdne hon kuch ret ke kan,
dhool bhari aandhi main,
badalta dharatal har waqt,
kshanbhangur us lamhe ke umar|

yaadon ke samandar main,
abhi jeevit ek lamha,
maano toofan se ghiri ek kashti|
kab ubare lehron se,
ya doobe ghare paani main|

Jhulasne se pehle,
sooraj ke dhoop se bachane ko,
kuchh badalon ke chhaon main,
baarish ke ek boond ke aas lagaye
kuchh ghaas ke tinke|

A new beginning to find the start ..

2006-11-22T18:07:00.000+05:30

Before I start on this journey I would like to give someone the credit where its due. This is for someone who helped me find a name for this blog and someone who has enriched my life so much and added a new dimension to my thoughts. So this is a tribute to her.

The Prologue: This is finally a new beginning. A new beginning of giving form to my thoughts. Thoughts that flood me a moment and then desert me. The moment that I would long to last till the last but the longing is what gets long before the words fail to become a song. The moment which I would try to stick to before it disappears in sliding sands (credit to Maddy - for these words) ..So this is an attempt to capture those moments.

Today I would like to begin with an insight on the word that I have chosen to sign off my posts with - "Contrarian"

con‧trar‧i‧an [kuhn-trair-ee-uhn]
–noun a person who takes an opposing view, esp. one who rejects the majority opinion, as in economic matters.

Though i've got nothing to do with economic matters its a contradiction itself for I love that subject. On that note I would share my belief that I so strongly hold - "80% of the people in this world are alike who would want the other 20% to become a part of their tribe" (Didn't Pereto discover something great ? )". But at the same time its the other 20% who make the world change. These agents of change (towards white or black) are the powerhorses who either bring the other 80% to submission or make them ashamed or inspire them to greater heights. I don't know if I am in those 20% but I surely hope/aspire to be in them. And thus the definition of this contrarian. A restless soul who wants to swim against the tide of his own expectation. Fly against the wind of social storms. Erupt like a volcano in the sea of oblivious existence to create an island of solitude. An island where anyone on the journey of self discovery is welcome. Anyone who can contribute to his learning of life and add to its beauty.

Someone told me i'm verbose. So I would prefer brevity in my first thought. I hope I've peeked into myself rather than giving you who might be reading this a peek into me.

Chale the hum khojne khud ko,
ek talaash ekaant main,
karwaan saath ho liya kab,
pata na chala,
bheed main bhi hum akele,
koi samajh na saka,
duniya disha dikhaati rahi,
aur hum raah talashte rahe |

Till the next time .. hopelessly hopeful of coming back soon ..